Please help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by nanashikun, Dec 13, 2010.

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  1. nanashikun

    nanashikun Member

    I want to kill myself. It's like I've been struggling to stay awake for the past six years, and now I just want to go to sleep. I'm so tired of keeping on the happy face for the people who don't even care. Everyone wants to see the happy me, but I can't keep it up anymore. Why do I get in trouble for being upset? Am I not allowed to be sad or angry? I just don't understand! To everyone, I'm always just a worthless fuck-up. Even to myself, I'm just pitiful and useless... if I just killed myself now, I'd save a lot of trash on this planet. I can't stop thinking I don't deserve to exist. Please help. I'm afraid I've run out of reasons to stay alive...
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You certainly do have the right to be sad or angry to feel overwhelmed. Wearing a mask drains you of all your energy so how can you feel well.
    It is time to get some help for you okay to get rid of those distorted thoughts of yours to get rid of the depression you are in.
    I hope you have a therapist and are on meds to help if now call gp now and get on something okay get referral to get some coping therapy to let all that sadness anger and pain out.
    You have the right to your emotions and the right to get help to find some healing for you take care of YOu okay please
     
  3. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    who is it that expects you to be happy all the time? is it your family?

    you do indeed have a right to express your true emotions

    maybe seeing a therapist would help.

    the negative feelings that you have about yourself probably come from being mistreated by your family.
     
  4. nanashikun

    nanashikun Member

    Everyone. Every time I'm upset or angry, everyone just looks at me like I am insane, or tells me to shut up and be normal. I hate that. I really, really do... it's a rather insensitive thing to say, isn't it?
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    yes insensitive and cruel What the hell is normal anyways you are as normal as they are tell them that you express your pain in a safe way okay scream it out write it out whatever.
     
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    yeah, the expectations that are being placed on you are unreasonable.

    can you get away from it? can you/ do you want to break the relationships with these people? If you can't/ don't want to break the relationships, can you fix them?

    a therapist might be able to help.

    talking here might help too. getting some feedback that the way that you feel is legitimate is helpful, especially if you are surrounded by people who are deligitimizing what you say.
     
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