please help

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by screaminginside, Jan 30, 2011.

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  1. I dont know how to cope...i was sxeually abused as a child by two of my cousins and two of my uncles....which i struggled with for 10 years of my life...in and out of institutions amongst other problems...got pregnant when i was 19 and social services whered goin to take my baby at birth...so my mum decided its best i go to her home country zambia so that they can keep my baby...so i left for zambia at 8 months pregnant...had my daiughter and she is gorgeous....when she was 2 months old had to move to my late grans's house...one of my uncles who abused me as a child lives there....i was 20 by now....everything was fine at first....then he started coming onto me....and at first he would jes grope me or kiss my neck or forehead.....then at xmas 2009....my other uncle who had never before so miuch as lay a finger on me tried to kiss my infront of my whole family...l.including his girl friend....everyone pretended like nothing happened....so i decided to talk to my aunty who was looking after me at the time since mym arrival in zambia......she said he was drunk and that she would talk to both my drunk uncle and my other uncle who had me groping me......then i never heard from her and she and her family moved out and left me there.....eventually my uncle suceeded and raped me once again on the 4th april 2010.....a month later i found out i was pregnant....my daughter was only 11 months....so i decided on an abortion but then discovered it was illegal in zambia and it was really expensive to go to a private daocto.....so i jes ignored it and lived in my own lil bubble....until one day when i was nearly 6 months month.....on the 27th of august got all the money i had and went to a private doctor who gave me an injection in my womb...i was told to go home and wait for labour to. Begin....which i did...the next day about noon it did...and abour 6pm it got really bad....so at 10pm my mums cousin who i was now staying with took me to a hospital where i gave birth to the dead baby boy at 2.50am....he was so tiny and asleep like with no life....i can't seem to get past that.....i have had counselling spiritually but in vain....iam at my ends.....and more over i had to return to uk without my daughter as her travel documents not ready....
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Your doctor misinformed you and you went through hell because of it...you made a judgement at the time and did your best...the only thing you can do is forgive yourself and move on...please continue to go to counselling as you have been through so much...and continue to post and tell us what is going on...big hugs, J
     
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I'm not really sure what to say.. I wish I did know. But we are here for you :hug:
     
  4. Thank you J and Swift for your posts..having been in couselling for 2 months now...i dont really know what is happening atm...iam too scared to go to my GP and ask for help as iam terrified they will take away my daughter when i finnally get her over but,

    is demon possesion real are iam i poorly?...i have been having this real spiritual like experiences for a while now...well since i was a kid and now they have become more frequent...it's like there are all things..being in and around me!...trying to possess me like vampires and black shadows...jes had a horrible experience now and iam awake now and can't sleep and terrified of the dark...please someone help me or tell me if there is someone that can help me please..iam at my wits end...
     
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Bea. I'm sorry to hear about all of your tragic experiences. I hope you are coping better after losing your child. I think that demonic possession is very, vary rare, but possible. It's possible that the spirits sense that you are vulnerable and are trying to attack you. You have to be strong and tell them to go away. If you are strong, they will leave you alone. :hug:
     
  6. Thank you Dave xx:IrishDoll:
     
  7. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    You have been though so much. I am so sorry that you have had to endure all that you describe. I do not think you are posessed. They can be around you without posessing you. Please though do not think you are posessed. If you were, you would not be sounding as kind as you do. Okay? :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 3, 2011
  8. Ok thank you very much x
     
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