please help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thedon131, Sep 21, 2011.

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  1. thedon131

    thedon131 New Member

    Please help over 4 weeks ago my partner of 3 years told me out of the blue that.she no longer loves me and told me to move I am devestated I suffer from anxiety and take meds forthis but now after trying to end it and slowly getting better I am losing my job so again I have nothing to live for I have no friends in my town I am all alone and truly feel id be better not here no pain no worries no stress it would all be easier as no mind no thoughts and I am scared of life right now
     
  2. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Well - I got to say - if she knew you had anxiety and depression - and springs this out of the blue - its wrong of any woman to not actually share the first little doubts that are common with people living together for 3 years.

    Nobody wakes up one day and says "I'm out of love"

    Well - actually - its common when you meet someone new and fall in lust. that heady feeling can be mistaken for love - but of course - 3 years in - you've formed an emotional attachment.

    Without communication - its easy for a man or woman to keep little things in - then its like major things - and you might be sleeping with someone who is 3 months into thinking that your not the right person.

    I think its easy for people to become complacent - assume love - once it raises its head - will be just there for life. For some it is - but you really won't know until you move in.

    not sure how long you two took before you moved in - I think waiting is best - but some people have met - moved in - and are still there.

    Thing now is damage limitation - once a woman makes clear her intention - we cannot argue. Woman have the last word - and if she does not love you - or treats you unkind - you got to walk away - hopefully with a kind word - don' be tempted (even if she is a horror) to get real mean - with words!

    As for leaving - concentrate on that - not worth asking why she does not love you - and not worth explaining how much you love her.

    Main thing is that there ARE other women out there - you been 3 years with this one - but life is going on outside. You may not be the type of guy who has lots of friends - but maybe you been spending too much time with this woman - I seen many men move on - leave their mates - pretty much live for her - which is dumb as men annoy women when we hang about - they complain when we go out but love the peace and quiet - watch the TV.

    Were do you live? As I am in the UK - housing here is great in most places - I mean London aside - I could grab a roof over my head if kicked out by some evil hearted woman - and sudden moves like that - well - its been done - we got to look after ourselves - and get life sorted and make sure the next women is one who will give prior warning of not loving you any more.

    Actually - she might be a bit challenged in her own social skills.

    Either way - killing yourself over some women who does not want you?

    Its the depression making that seem tempting - and you cannot make important decisions when your mind is that way.

    If killing yourself is the right idea - wait till you have an OK day - and see if it feels right then.

    You will be OK by Christmas - it takes maybe a day to recover for each month you been with her - double it if she was sweet and kind-hearted. Treble it if she cheated. You been with her 3 years - that's 36 months - so 36 days maybe 72 - so its not that long - just be busy.

    regards.

    Hope this helps.
     
  3. IWantToBelieve

    IWantToBelieve Active Member

    I'm very sorry to hear this. I know exactly how you feel because I've gone through the same. You will have to weather the storm, and things won't be easy. But that doesn't mean you should make them tougher than they need to be.

    You did the right thing reaching out in the forum (and you perhaps can do similarly in different places.) I know how you feel, I truly do and wish things will get better for you. And they will. Four weeks is a very short time but things will get better.

    Take care.
     
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    you may be eligible for unemployment or disability payments

    if you live in a country that doesn't have universal healthcare, you may be eligible for medical benefits too

    have you looked into this?

    you'll still be dealing with the emotional crisis, but the financial issues are something that you may be able to take care of

    as hard as it is to go through a break up, if you can get to a place where you don't need to be in a relationship in order to survive, that's a much better foundation for a relationship
     
  5. Animosity

    Animosity Forum & Chat Buddy

    I'm sorry this happened to you. I know exactly how you are feeling though. And can you try and keep the job you have? you said you were about to lose it. well do the best that you can do to actually keep it. Dont let other people control your happiness. ever. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. :)
     
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