please help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by deathwalking, Nov 28, 2006.

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  1. deathwalking

    deathwalking Well-Known Member

    Im in dire need of someone to talk to...even though I know only i can help myself.Ive told my story here a couple weeks ago, then asked for the thread to be deleted.

    Im so depressed...I've tried to hang myself a couple times but wasnt able to go through with it.I've been drinking for a month ...not just small quantities, but litre bottles of hard liquor each night....im scared of what this is doing to my body.I was a health nut before my break up but that along w/ other issues sent me into a spiral that i cant seem to get out of.I just dont want to feel this way.She gave me the strength to deal w/ my 'issues' but now that shes given up on me , i feel like i cant go on.Im weak.Im ashamed.

    Im getting more and more reckless.I was in an empty lot last night driving my car as fast as it would go hoping for a crash.I stay away from people cause i only want to hurt myself.I really dont know what to do.I hate me.

    Some people might think im trolling or not serious but I reaaly do need help.I thought of checking myself into a hospital, but what are they going to do if i cant help myself?
     
  2. Sonne

    Sonne Member

    Try anti-depressants. You'll float away on a cloud of numbness.
     
  3. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    I think it's a great idea to see a doctor. Ide be amazed if you could get yourself back on your feet on your own after such a fall. There is no loss of pride in asking for help. What's more, if you think your going to commit suicide then you have nothing to lose if you go and see a doctor. It can take just one person to show you that life is worth living and that help is there for you. Would you rather live and see if you can or die never knowing what may be?
     
  4. deathwalking

    deathwalking Well-Known Member

    h20smack....thats my problem.....ive talked to a shrink a buncha times, but really, only i can help myself...and i cant do it....i dont wanna go on, and yet i also dont wanna feel like this.death seems like the only, and frankly the best option.

    sonne.......antidepressants?do they work?do your best to describe the feeling after you take them.
     
  5. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    But did you tell your shrink exactly what youve just told us. That you want to go the whole way and actually die? To stop the pain your feeling.
     
  6. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    when we want to die is because we want to get rid of the pain. am i right? well, it doesn't happen like that. it will transfer the pain to those that care about us and leave them left holding the bag. might be time to consider what it would do to others around you to leave. i am hoping for the best for you. please take care and i would recommend getting in for some help. it just might work. it's worth a shot. keep talking to us here. we're here for ya.
     
  7. deathwalking

    deathwalking Well-Known Member

    yeah i did...she was on her way to call 911 and i stopped her....i told her i wasnt actually serious....but i was....i still am.its hard to die by your own hand.im still working up the nerve.sadly, i think it'll take me causing a terrible 'accident' with reckless behavior or even worse it'll be long and drawn out, especially w/ the way i've been drinking and smoking.i just cant go on like this.
     
  8. deathwalking

    deathwalking Well-Known Member

    rhino....yes i think about those left behind.maybe it is selfish but i just cant live like this.as i said, i do want to live but not in this manner...not with these feelings day in and day out.
     
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