CAN SOMEONE PLEASE BE ME???????!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO BE ME ANYMORE. YES I KNOW, I NEED TO BELIEVE THAT THINGS WILL GET BETTER I HAVE HEARD THAT FUCKING MANTRA ALL MY LIFE, AND IF I DONT WANT TO HEAR THAT MESSAGE, THEN BASICALLY THE NEXT MESSAGE IS ...WELL THATS FUCKING LIFE DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I AM SO GOD DAMNED FUCKING TIRED OF DEALING WITH LIFE AND BEING THE NICE FUCKING STUPID BITCH THAT ALWAYS FIGURES OUT HOW TO GET THINGS DONE...THIS DAMN RANT IS NOT DIRECTED TOWARDS ANYONE HERE, BECAUSE GOD FUCKING KNOWS THAT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN TOO NICE TO ME THAN ANYONE EVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN. I TRY TO BE THE BEST MOM I CAN BUT IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER. YES I SHOULD PROBABLY REMEMBER THAT KIDS GROW OUT OF THIS SHITTY STAGE, BUT IT DOESNT STOP MY HEART FROM HURTING EVERYTIME ONE OF MY KIDS, ESPECIALLY MY DAUGHTER, CALLS ME STUPID, RIDICULOUS, BECAUSE NOTHING I EVER DO IS GOOD ENOUGH, PLEASE CAN I FIND ANOTHER JOB IN MY AREA THAT PAYS WHAT I DO...IT SHOULD GOD DAMN PAY THIS WELL FOR ALL THE HELL THEY PUT ME THRU...I WOULD LIKE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL, I JUST CANT FUCKING CONCENTRATE WITH THE EVERY DAY SHIT TO EVEN START THINKING ABOUT IT, BUT I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT, THERE IS A COURSE THAT I WANT TO TAKE ITS ONLY ONE GOD DAMN FUCKING SEMESTER, ITS A HUGE COURSE LOAD, IT WOULD HAVE TO TAKE ALL OF MY FOCUS, WHICH MEANS I COULDNT WORK, SO I WOULD HAVE TO COME UP WIT FUCKING $2500.OO FOR THE COURSE, AND $5500.00 TO COVER MY FAMILY'S LIVING EXPENSES. YEAH LIKE THATS GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN. i WANTED TO GET A SECOND FUCKING JOB, BUT MY FIRST THOUGHT IS WHERE IN THE FUCKING HELL AM i GOING TO FIT ONE MORE GOD DAMN FUCKING THING INTO MY DAY...WELL IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER ANYWAY.....BECAUSE IF I GET A SECOND JOB I LOSE ME STATE MEDICAL COVERAGE, BECAUSE I AM RIGHT ON THAT LINE WHERE I SUPPOSEDLY MAKE ALMOST TOO DAMN MUCH MONEY TO GET FUCKING ASSISTANCE...AND I CANT AFFORD INSURANCE THRU WORK BECAUSE THAT WOULD COST ME 3/4 OF ONE OF MY TWO WEEK CHECKS...FUCKING YEAH RIGHT I CAN AFFORD THAT..I CANT BE WITHOUT MEDICAL CARE BECAUSE I AM SO FUCKED UP...BUT HEY WHO'S FAULT IS THAT ITS FUCKING MINE!!!!!! ME ITS ME...I AM FUCKED UP...I TRY AND TRY AND I TRY AND I FUCKING TRY, I TRY TO BELIEVE THAT IT WILL GET BETTER. GLIMMERS OF FUCKING HOPE EVERY OH LETS SAY 6 MONTHS OR SO AND I AM SUPPOSED TO HOLD ONTO THAT..NO...i CAN'T U JUST FUCKING CANT ANYMORE, I AM SO EMOTIONALLY DRY AND I DONT WANT TO FUCKING HURT ANYONE, BUTI AM TIRED OF HURTINGIT IS NO ONES RESPONSIBILITY, ITS ALL FUCKING ME.....I HAVE DESTROYED ME, AND I HAVE NO HOPE OF CRAWLING OUT OF THE HELL THAT I AM INDONE