please i beg you to please read

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by smellsliketeenspirit, Oct 23, 2006.

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  1. smellsliketeenspirit

    smellsliketeenspirit Active Member

    i want to hang myself.....infront of everybody....i want to hang myself in the living room...or in the classroom so everybody would feel sorry for me...im so depresed....dunno why im still alive....please just what am i to do with my life...everything just falls apart.


    everybody expect so much of me. yet i expect nothing of them.
    why am i the only one i know who feels this way.
    i got so much f''cking shit in my life and suddenly im the one who is responsible for every pice of shit...but anyway many encounter teenageproblems right?but why am i the only one(at least it feels that way)that have thought about suicide?i dont eally want to die but i want to show everyone and make everyone feel sorry...feel something.hate, love dosent matter, just something..i dont want to go to a therapist cuz its their jobb and then it will feel fake..just please im 13 is this normal?
     
  2. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I've been feeling that way about my therapist, that he's getting paid to help me and so he's only doing it for the money. But he does help me out a bit, its mostly my fault for not opening up to him.

    I suggest you at least try to see a therapist and if you see one, just remember that if this one is not right for you, that still don't give up, try another one, therapists are individual people and unique like you and me.

    Have you thought about how your family and friends would feel if you commited suicide?
     
  3. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Well, it's not 'normal', but there's many teenagers (and even adults) who have felt, or are feeling, the same way as you.

    Your post put across a lot of anger towards people around you, may be due to pressure you're getting off them because I know being a teenager can be tough indeed because of peer pressures and parents wanting us to do well etc... have you tried talking to your parents about how you're feeling? A friend, or a teacher?

    If you see a therapist I don't see how it will be fake. I think seeing a therapist, or at least talking to someone you trust can help you and can get out the feelings and emotions that you're clearly experiencing and bottling up right now.

    Take care of yourself, and we're here.
     
  4. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. I feel the exact same way at times, and I am 13 as well.
     
  5. smellsliketeenspirit

    smellsliketeenspirit Active Member

    Its like i want to see a therapist or tell my family but i want them to notice it...my friends would not understand cuz they dont know this side of me..no one does
     
  6. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    thats how i feel a lot too. i tried telling one of my friends that I cut and they got really freaked out. it made me feel really alone. and i want my family to notice to. i feel like i'm screaming but no one hears me.
     
  7. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    your friends don't need to know. You are what matters. Think about it....you will be with you the rest of your life. Your friends will stay or go or be there sometimes. Your parents may not know but you are at a changing age and time in society where the world gives you confusing messages. Don't feel alone. I am glad you feel safe enough to share here. hang tough. I believe you can.

    TLA
     
  8. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    that was excellently said.
     
  9. smellsliketeenspirit

    smellsliketeenspirit Active Member

    yeah i also feel alone alot..not because i dont have friends but because they live this easy life...they are always happy and feel like the worst part of the day is over when schools over but for me the worst part starts home
     
  10. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    most of the time i feel like its unfair because all my friends are happy and smile all the time and all I want is death.
     
  11. smellsliketeenspirit

    smellsliketeenspirit Active Member

    thanks..its good to have someone who belive in me...really thanks
     
  12. smellsliketeenspirit

    smellsliketeenspirit Active Member

    anyway im goin to..i dont know read or anything now i just feel bad
     
  13. Chelle

    Chelle New Member

    I'm 16 and I think I've been feeling that way since I was 11...I'm surprised I'm still alive actually. Mostly thanks to having at least one friend that I could really talk to. You should find someone that you feel like you can trust and talk to them. Even if it is a therapist (I've been to a few.) You can trust them because, yes they are getting paid, but everything you tell them has to stay confidential. And if you do need someone else to talk to I'll listen.
     
  14. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    You said the worst part of the day starts at home, may I ask why this is?

    If you don't show your depressive side to your friends then you don't know how they are going to react. They could suprise you and actually support you but of course, if you don't want to tell your friends then you don't have to, although I do suggest you talk to someone in real life about how you're feeling.

    Have you considered journalling? Or maybe even drawing and/or poetry? These are ways to let out your feelings in a safe way and can be theraputic.

    Anyway, we're here for you, and people do care.
     
  15. smellsliketeenspirit

    smellsliketeenspirit Active Member

    when i come home from school its like this bad mood...and i know that when my dad gets home from work its going to be a fight beetwen him and my stepmother..they always fight. always. over some stupid little thing. and it drives me crazy... i dont want to live a life where everything is just a mess,,
    anyway after my father finished yelling he walks out the door and my stepmother starts calling her friends to tell them about "how evil he is" and "how she was just trying to talk to him"...she's awating death cus shees sick..of course i feel like sorry for her but she treats me like crap and my father never have time for me...it makes me feel like he dont love me anymore and only got time for her..
    i feel so guilty of wanting a person to die but i guess thats the truth..i really do want my stepmother to die...i guess the reason im feeling suicidal is because i want to escape from something..is there anway to escape this without taking any pills or going to any hospitals or anything?
     
  16. Spikey

    Spikey Senior Member

    At thirteen, you should definatly not be feeling like this. Please don't do anything, you have your whole life in front of you.
    Please see a doctor hunny.
    Am here for you.

    SPIKEY X
     
  17. thesilence

    thesilence Guest

    -hugs-

    One thing that helped me is remembering that it could always be worse. So thank your lucky stars.

    You have your whole life ahead of you, and alot of people to impact along the way. If you won't see it through for you, see it through for the people you will help, and love and save.

    Know that we're here for you
     
  18. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    The situation you're in now sounds difficult. When a relative is ill they can sometimes, most of the time unintentionally, take out their pain and anger on the ones they love the most. The same goes for your dad, too.. he is most probably under a lot of stress and when people under stress, they can lash out on people around them. Unfortunately you're stuck in the middle of it all.

    If you talk to someone it doesn't automatically mean you go into a hospital and/or are put on medication. I am not all too clear on proceedure as I haven't had hospital experience but I double checked by asking in the chatoom and apparently you're put into hospital if you're a high danger to yourself and/or others around you. As for medication, there are other ways to help with depression, too, including therapy and you could be refered to a a counsellor. However if the subject of medications comes up then you could express your concern to your doctor.
     
  19. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    Actually... I reccomend not seeing a therapist/doctor. That's my opinion. But I've talked with many, many people and said all counseling did was make it worse. That seems to be the general consensus with the people I've talked with. I've felt that way since I was 11 and I'm now 13. I've found ways to deal with the pain, healthy ones and unhealthy alike. I believe if I ask for a conselor, it'll put me right back where I started.
     
  20. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    But then on the other side of the scale there are people who say therapy has made them feel better. There are good therapists out there, but of course, like you just shown therapy doesn't work for everyone. It's good you've got other healthy ways to deal with pain. :hug:
     
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