I have had the most terrible 6 months, something like a really bad soap opera, the problem is this, my doctor thinks I may have suffered a nervous Breakdownicon in January and has referred my for emergency counselling but this could still take 4-6 weeks. The major problem I have is this, since January I have spent 8K on my company credit card and I honestly dont know what I have been doing, my full history is below, but my personality totally changed after Christmas, I have become distgustingly flirty, coarse and open. I have been "acting" overly happy and cheerful and optimistic, when actually I was just dying inside, every day. I am a receptionist and Facility Manager which doesnt afford me the ability to just be myself, I have to be cheerful and accomodating. Here is my history: • Nov 2011 o Partner of 14 years goes away on business trip to Asia for 3 weeks o Partner returns and leaves home needing time to think o Caroline celebrates birthday alone o Caroline Admitted to A&E with SVT • Dec 2011 o Ex-Partner tells her he needs time to think and there is no one else o Caroline spends Christmas break alone o Caroline attempts suicide o Caroline admitted to A&E with SVT o Caroline spends New Year alone • Jan 2012 o Ex-Partner still reassures her he needs time to think o Caroline is scheduled for a Cardiac Ablation Operation o Ex-Partner is away in Canada at that time o Caroline goes through heart operation & recovery only with support of colleagues o Ex-Partner removes all financial assistance o Caroline comes off her anti-depressants to be able to stop smoking using Champix • Feb 2012 o Ex-Partner reveals he fell in love whilst Asia with a colleague, we both know o He left Caroline for her, Caroline is devastated, again o Ex-Partner empties her apartment whilst she is at work, leaving only a few items o Caroline tries to be strong and negotiates new role with increased salary o Caroline for the first time in months thinks things are going her way • Mar 2012 o [Company] announce merger with [Another] o Caroline is openly devastated at announcement, the thoughts of losing her friends and security. o Caroline starts to spiral without her medication, but believes she will be strong enough o Caroline displays uncharacteristic behaviour, openly flirty and coarse o Caroline feels out of control but feels that work is levelling her and providing purpose • Apr 2012 o Many redundancies occur at work o Morale is extremely low and atmosphere is oppressively negative o Caroline tries to remain chirpy and cheerful and raise peoples spirits o Caroline visits doctors to resume anti depressant medication o Caroline is scolded by doctor for taking herself off them o Counselling is offered but with a 4 month wait time • May 2012 o Caroline discovers that her partner, who left 6 months ago, conceived a child with his girlfriend 5 months ago. o Caroline’s hope is destroyed, any chance of reconciliation obliterated. o Caroline’s medication will not take effect for another 3 weeks o Caroline approaches ex partner to apologise for spends on his credit card o Ex-Partner reveals no spends on his card o Caroline logs in to [EDIT] to discover all spends have been on company card o Caroline informs [EDIT] in HR of error • 6 Month Overview o Caroline just “goes through the motions” o Feels as if she is running on auto pilot o Caroline displays uncharacteristic behaviour o Becomes un organised and forgetful o Caroline was tormented by her ex-partner, giving false hope, only to crush her over and over again o Caroline’s financial situation is dire and she has trouble eating and sleeping o Caroline took herself off her lifelong anti depressants in a bid to quit smoking o Caroline spiralled into depression and masked it by being, flirty, suggestive and coarse My doctor thinks I have PTSD with a disassociative disorder. TODAY I WAS FIRED!!! I HAVE NOTHING LEFT !!!! IM ALONE AND HAVE NOTHING !!!