please....i need help....

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Madsys, Jan 4, 2012.

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  1. Madsys

    Madsys Active Member

    i dont know what to do anymore...im so lost and confused..im just getting worse..nothing is helping...im still going downhilll...i dont know what to do...im breaking down nearly every night, im crying in my sleep, i want to make myself have nightmares just to torture myself and i have had mini panic attacks for absolutely no reason at all...i just want to curl up in someones arms and fall asleep and never wake up again...or just curl up in a deep dark cosy hole and sleep forever...i dont want to be here anymore...im so lost and confused...noone understands me...ive tried telling my mum and she just says i have to think positive and stop thinking negatively...its really not that easy..i cant just switch it off...even my cousin who is a mental health worker told me to just think positive and it'll be fine...i wish someone would just stop and listen to me and help me! i need help! i just cant do it anymore! why am i like this? why me? i just want to be normal and happy...if there even is such things...i hate who i am...and how i look...my mum is always telling me im fat and i need to lose weight..i was starting to feel ok in my body but not anymore..now i just feel fugly and disgusting...i wish i was anorexic or something...im sorry...i just dont know what to do im all over the place and im really losing it..i need help but noone knows how to help me...i know ill probably be locked up but that scares me sooooo much! even though so many people o n here have shared with me theyre experiences and told me its not too bad...my cousin (the same mentioned above) told me that they are horrible horrible places that i should never ever want to end up in because they are super scary and horrible..that really didnt help...im so scared i feel so helpless and hopeless.....i need help...someone please help me! please! see whats going on! see whats in my head! cant u see the tears in my eyes? cant u see the pain? i just cant deal with it anymore...ive even started thinking of methods...i cant do this...please help me...please..im begging u! i just want this to stop! i want it all to be over...i want to be better...i hate this i hate this...why cant i be better? i dont want to be like this...please make the pain go away...
     
  2. Baldr

    Baldr Moderator Staff Member Safety & Support

    It's very hard for people who have never felt depressed to understand people who are, thinking positively is a very hard thing for depressed people, I think 'normal' people often underestimate it.
    Have you tried talking to a psych/councellor etc? Maybe it will help
    Feel free to PM/IM me if you feel in need of it
     
  3. Madsys

    Madsys Active Member

    yeah except my mum is depressed and even on the same ad's as me atm...ive spoken to counsellors and psychs and docs and youth workers and everything...so many ive lost count...
     
  4. Baldr

    Baldr Moderator Staff Member Safety & Support

    Have you tried talking to friends/other relatives?
     
  5. Madsys

    Madsys Active Member

    yes...
     
  6. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you're suffering, Madsys. :console: I don't have all the answers, Sweetie. But please know that I truly care, and you're definitely not alone. You're among friends here, so please continue to post and interact. And feel free to PM me anytime. Sending love, hugs and friendship...T :console:
     
  7. Baldr

    Baldr Moderator Staff Member Safety & Support

    Very sorry that didn't help
    I've got to go now, don't know when I'll be back again
    hope someone else will help you when I'm away
     
  8. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    we are your friends here
     
  9. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    First of all - you are important, just as you are, and we care about you.

    I don't know anything about Australia's health care system, especially for mental health. Is it possible that you could go to a hospital Emergency Room, and tell them of your symptoms, and your difficulties? Be honest with them if you have harmed yourself, or are thinking of harming yourself. Your cousin may (or may not) have an accurate view of the mental health system. But if you're in extreme pain, and having the difficulties you describe, maybe it's time to consider hospitalization as a necessary measure. Be evaluated by professionals and if required, maybe different medication.

    You don't deserve to feel miserable.

    Please post back and let us know how you're doing, what steps you've been able to take, or even if you've just had a bad day and need to talk about it. We won't judge you, we will try to encourage and support you.

    You are in a safe place here. We care
     
  10. dragonfly70

    dragonfly70 Well-Known Member

    Who is prescribing your antidepressant? I would call them, TODAY, and let them know it's not working and you want to try something else. Does your cousin know you're considering ending your life? That was very irresponsible of your cousin to make you fear the hospital. I'm not sure how things are in Australia, but if the hospital can keep you safe while your meds are adjusted, then it's probably a good place for you right now.

    Please. Call your doctor. And don't let the front desk brush you off. Tell them you need to speak to the doctor, or someone covering for them, TODAY.
     
  11. Madsys

    Madsys Active Member

    Hello...well things haven't really gotten better...in fact I've just been going down hill even more...but I happened to mention to my mother about maybe going to hospital so she said we can look into it and she'll call as soon as possible to see what we can do...I guess I managed to get her at a decent time... I've still been crying alot and feeling more alone than ever really...even though I have u guys I guess...I just wish I had someone who I could curl up into the arms of...someone who can hold me and protect me and tell me it'll b alright...someone to love me... :/ that's the update I guess...going nowhere butdown...
     
  12. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    That's good that she's looking into hospitalization for you....I'm proud of you for getting the message across to your mom. Let us know what she finds out, okay? :hug: It's nice to hear back from you....look after yourself. ;]

    Alex
     
  13. Madsys

    Madsys Active Member

    the hospital hasnt been mentioned since...but ive still been going downhill...i havent cried as much but ive gotten kinda irritable and i can hardly sleep (for example last night i only slept around 3-4 hours and right now im stil wide awake and its nearly 2 in the morning...)im not even sure what day it is! they all mix up or bluyr togewther and im so confused!i still feel very down...and i tend to zone out alot too..even in the middle of a conversation or ill be easily distracted by something and have to do it or whatever straight away! like if i suddenly remember something or see something i was meant to do or was looking for i go straight and do it...even if im in the middle of a convo...im so lost! what should i do?
     
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