Please Just Reply

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by fromthatshow, May 27, 2011.

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  1. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    If someone here says... "Don't kill yourself, Spencer," then I won't. I just want to hear one person tell me that I deserve to be alive just because. Not for any reason. I know there is so much love here that we tell people all the time to stick it out even when we don't know them. Someone here just tell me not to do it :heart:

    I am so depressed. My heart aches like I never thought possible. I am in an absolute hell 24/7. My therapist won't call me back, and I don't have a psychiatrist. All this was supposed to be set up when I was an inpatient in the hospital but they didn't do anything other than put me on old meds that didn't work. I used to frequent this forum a year or two ago. I was here like every day. Clearly what I have tried has not worked. I am so lost, and just want to end this horrible suffering. But I suppose if even one stranger thinks I'm not better off dead then I will not do it! I just need to hear it! That's all!
  2. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    Spence i haven't been about but havent forgotten you :hug: so don't do it! your worth far more than you know and there are people who care :hug:
  3. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I haven't been about either! I thought I was doing well.
    I forgot how much love there is on this forum.

    Thank you :hug:
  4. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    big :wub: to you
  5. The Unforgiven

    The Unforgiven Well-Known Member

    hang in there mate, hope youre bette.
    :hug: :hug:
  6. ali 56

    ali 56 Well-Known Member

    I care too - sending you a big hug to help you get through your pain. Take care Ali xx
  7. Aubergine

    Aubergine New Member

    Please don't kill yourself Spencer. I care.
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Please don't do it. :hug: Here if you need anything.
  9. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thanks guys. Good to know there is still love here :heart:
    I have my method picked out. I'm one letdown away from going over the edge. Just came out of inpatient too, so it'd be tough to go back there. I'll probably figure something out. But it's nice to know there are people out there who care :heart:
  10. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Did something happen to trigger these emotions, to bring you to this point?
  11. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    if u need to go back there although difficult, then do - they are there to help... please dont do anything - the world needs you :hug:
  12. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    It's probably all the drugs. I was on this drug suboxone that is supposed to be for withdrawing opiate addicts, but when I did research online it was also found to be helpful with depression and anxiety. So that worked for about 6 months. But there are bad physical side affects and you build a tolerance fast. So I got off that because of the physical side effects. Now I'm back to shaking all day again. I did heroin three days in a row the beginning of this week and have been drunk maybe 4 or 5 of the other nights since I got out of inpatient hospitalization. They didn't do much for me. So there is a mixture of having done too many drugs and already being paniced all the time. My therapist won't even call me back (I dunno!) and I don't even have a psychiatrist.

    There is a sense of panic that goes away the more seriously I take a step towards the end.
  13. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Has your therapist ever helped you, or returned your calls? If not, definitely time for a new one. And maybe worth trying to find a psych that could help you get on some meds for the panic. At least it might help take the edge off.
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi I hope you stay now and keep receiving the kindness you deserve okay No i do not want you to harm you I want you to be kind to you okay hugs
  15. marmite

    marmite Active Member

    I am new to this site and I say don't do it as I have tried and now am glad I was not succesful.Hang on in there things may get better and you will miss out if you don't stay around to find out.Everything passes at some time.
  16. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    i am sorry things are so bad DONT DO IT ! love and hugs from me ¬!¬
  17. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    You deserve to be here. :hug:
  18. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thanks guys :grouphug:

    No she hasn't. I know I need a new therapist and psychiatrist. I thought they would take care of it when I was an inpatient. I shouldn't let that be a reason not to seek out a new one it just frustrates me.
  19. xxLostHopexx

    xxLostHopexx Member

    Dont be sad hun
    You have many replies from people telling you that you are wanted here , let me add myself to that list

  20. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Are you holding up? If it gets too rough just stay here at the site. Folks here will help you keep holding on when you feel you no longer can.

    *gentle hug* for you.

    Totally understand about the panic easing the closer one gets :sad: same here. When I cradle it ...

    Can you try to keep your method somewhere inconvenient?
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