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Please, let me have my own life!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by AfraidofMyself, May 2, 2007.

  1. That's it.
    That's all I want.
    Is that honestly too much to ask for?

    I don't even have my own room any more to escape to. I can't leave the house without being asked 50 questions as to where I'm going and even then I have to take time out to run errands for leaving the house.
    My dad really means no harm. I know he means well but he just won't leave me alone. I cry a lot and every time he catches me crying he just won't let up. He won't accept that people cry sometimes. He has to hang around me like a lost puppy dog and I just want to say, "Dad...I love you but leave me alone! I'm really sick and tired of seeing your face!" He has to know why I'm crying. He MUST know why and then he must talk to me about for hours until he's satisfied that I have stopped crying and got annoyed.
    I can't talk on the phone without him being in my room.
    I can't cry without him barging in so now I have to hide my crying & hurt.
    I can't just leave and go out for the evening and do my own thing.
    I can't just be myself.
    I can't just grow up.
    I'm so upset that he just won't leave me alone. He comes in my room and stays for hours, laying on my bed. I feel like he's a security guard and he's making sure I don't break out. I don't know how to tell him I don't want to talk to him. I don't know what to do any more.

    I tell him I want to move and it's like a death sentence for him. He's like I don't need to move and that he's going to have us a house built with lots of bedrooms so I can get married and have kids and live with him forever. I do not want that at all!
    I tell him I'm going to go to another college to finish some things up. God forbid I'd stay on campus, right? I -must- find a college close enough to drive to every day?! Please, Dad, please!

    I don't know how to tell him that he's killing me inside.
    I'm young. Please let me make my own decisions for once. Please let me have space for once. Let me grow on my own for a little while. Let me test the waters. Let me go to a freaking job interview and not come home to you. You who makes me tell you every thing I said. You who says how my answers were not good and I could have done so much better. You who means well but stabs me in the heart.

    I just want my space.
    I just want to do my own thing for awhile.
    I want to not worry what my Dad is going to do, when he's going to come in, be afraid he's going to catch me crying.
    I just want my own life.
  2. I want you to have your own life too. :hug: