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please listen

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by starryeyed, Feb 17, 2011.

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  1. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    My brother assaulted me tonight .I rang the guars but they were horrible to me.My dad lied to them and said it was my own fault.I started shouting and the guard asked me to come to the station.
    He was absolutley horrible to me.i left the station in bits.I drove to the pscyh ward but it was closed and when i went to a and e it was packed .I couldnt stay there .My brother abuses me day after day and mu dad beats me and my sister is also a drunk.I told my sister I couldt take anymore and said I ws going to kill myself .
    When I eventually came home ,my dad stood in the door giving me dirty looks .Im at breaking poitn.I cant take this pain ,i want to die ,no one cares about me
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi StarryEyed...can you go back to the A&E to get help? Even if it is crowded, maybe they can get social services to assist you...no one should be abusing you and your father should not accept this...please see if there is a counsellor you can talk to...big hugs, J
  3. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    hi and thanks .No the place had soo many people there .One woman actually asked me was I ok ,she looked so worried .this made me worse cos my own family dont even ask that .I might go to th psych tomorrow ,they will be open.I have never cried as much ,i have been crying for 4 hours ,i drove through two red lights
    please give me a reas not to die ,cos i dont have one
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 17, 2011
  4. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    obviously no one else could find a reason either
  5. Fedupforreal

    Fedupforreal Well-Known Member

    I asked the same question in another thread and I've asked the same question a few times in other forums. I don't get answers. I get hugs and "it'll get better" (a statement the speaker can't qualify since they don't know me), and the usual emotional blackmail. I just don't think anyone knows what the purpose of life is or any real reason why anyone should stay. It's mindless. "Stay." Okay, "why?" "Um, uh, er..."

    I can say that if I were in your situation, depending on my age at the time, rather than considering suicide, I'd be throwing all my efforts into getting the hell out of there.
  6. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    I agree with fedup, work on getting out of there, we cant choose our families and sometimes they are who gives us the most problems, but we can choose to leave them.

    The purpose of life is to live it.

    I know thats probably not the answer you want but its the only one ive come up with.
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you need to get out. how old are you and what country do you live in? if we know this the members from there can offer more specific support.
  8. cycla

    cycla Member

    run away. There are so many things left for you in this world. Just run run run.
    A reason for you to live, is that you havent yet.
    Your hurting, with very good reasons, but you can escape, and live. Go to the hospital, go to the police someone will help you.
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No all you have to do is go to a shelter that will protect you from your family call up and see what shelters there are in your area that will take you in and give you the skills you need to get away from the violence to start a life on your own There are shelters that can protect you going to hospital t hey would know as well the social services out there
  10. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    M 34 and am chronically ill.thats why im here.i live in Ireland.im going to a shelter tomorrow if there is room.i dont know how im still alive.my mother is punishing me for calling the guards.the guards didnt believe me.they kept trying to find holes in my story.im sick of being abused.
  11. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni


    I'm really sorry to hear you're going through so much.. it sounds very difficult. Hope that you're able to get to safety in the shelter or similar

    Jenny x
  12. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Don't know how it works in Ireland but in England if you go to your local council you can be regiesterd as homeless. It's obs not good for your mental health to be living there and you can tell them in privacy about the abuse and they will provide you with accommodation whether it be a hotel, a refuge or council housing.

    It may be worth considering that.

  13. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Ill have to go to the council in person ,they are ignoring my calls .thanks everyone
  14. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    is it cause its Saturday ?? Keep trying. Or use any other resources you can find.....
  15. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    They would only run on skelton staff on a Saturday. They would probably want you to go in anyway. Let us know how you get on.

  16. contemplative

    contemplative Member

    I feel for you starryeyed. You need to get out of there. Find a way, somehow just leave. But don't kill or hurt yourself. The others on here are rigt, you still have a life to live that has yet to begin. :)
  17. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    i wasnt rinign the council on a saturday it was during the week.i asked my sister could i stay in her house she said my weight would break the bed and i couldnt stay in her bed cos she was changing the sheets.she works nights so was going to go when she was working .
    thers not one them any good
    i rang the shelter but its late and theres no answer .i have my nct on my car and have to go to the garage tuesday ,i forgot all about it .that means i cant stay in the shelter tomorrow .i dont even have the money for the petro to go there cos its miles away.i have to pay the garage and i am only living on small income
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