• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)

please offer help.

Not open for further replies.


New Member
I'm new to this forum. I wanted to contact a Crisis number but my abusive fiance took my phone. Yesterday I was in a car accident where I sustained an concussion and seperated shoulder. It is my 4th concussion in 3 years. I'm having trouble speaking and writing. My fiance and I were perfect, well not perfect, but good for the last 4 years. She did have an abortion inthe 2nd trimester and lied to me, but I love her. Somehow I forced myself to understand. I of course blamee myself. She is very negative a lot but i'm always optimistic and love her.
Now to the reason I joined this forum. Whe she get upsets, she hits me, and not love taps, but hits that leave marks. I would never hit her because i love her. After the accident, I went to the hospital with her and my mom, and she blamed me and now we don't have a car. My mom loves her (though she won't take "sides" totally agreed with her while i couldn't move and had double vision.
So, when we got home, i laid on the couch to relax because of the headaches from the concussion and the bruises all over me. I'm lucky to be alive my mom informed after seein the car the next day. My Fiance came downstairs and told me to go upstairs to the bed. I couldn't move nor sleep so i asked if i could just wait another 10 minutes.
Then she started yelling, and breaking dishes, when I got up to stop her, she punched my head and choked me and with a concussion. i was out. she started yelling profanities at me as i crawled to the couch. So was yelling at me that "she wished I would have died in the crash." She then told me to go upstairs and i said no, because i don't want to get hit again. I was too weak. finally, i slept and i woke uo to find her gone. she was with my mom looking at the totaled car. after the accident and the attack last night, my vision was still double and now i couldn't talk right. I called my mom, my fiance, even my sister and they all said it's my fault for not going upstairs when i was told. After about 3 hours of calls, and finally trying to make my sister realize something is not right. MY fiance said i was faking it.
After the hospital, my sister and fiance then started to explain how this all my fault. after we got hiome, i noticed my fiance had taken my phone and all my money but she states "she loves me". THen she choked me when i confronted her knocking me down the steps and then calling my sister to say i threw my self down the stairs. SHe then went to my sisters leaving me at the bottom of the stairs.
THrough Verizion Online I text her to try getting my phone back so i can just talk to someone, anyone. I feel so low. Im 26. My fiance, mom,dad, and brother are treating me like scum.
I went to a bridge to jump off but my concussion and injuries prevented me fro walking to the bridge. I am afarid, there will be no cry for help unless this is it now. I WILL do it. someone hear please


Well-Known Member
Loads of people here can call the cops and 911 for you, if need be. It'll be fine.

Plus everyone else here can give you a hand and an ear to listen. :)


Active Member
I'm certainly no expert at relationships, but you need to leave. It's plain to see you're at breaking point. Even if it's only for a few days while you get your thoughts together, you need to leave. I know this may be hard because you don't have your phone or a car, but any way you can, get out of this situation.

If you think of your unhappiness, would you be much happier without her?

Nobody should hit you. Ever.

It is not okay.

Please take care x


Well-Known Member
Hi firstly welcome. I am glad you have found us. If you have a landline you need to phone 999 or go to a neighbours house and do it from there. Your fiance doesn't sound very nice at all i'm sorry you are going through this. But you must try and get some help prefrably hospital followed by the police you cannot let this carry on she will only get worse.


Well-Known Member
Your fiance needs therapy, what she is doing is wrong and she needs help to control her anger.

Have you ever spoke to her about it? About her hitting you? Has she ever let on that she knows it is wrong?

It is naturally going to be a difficult thing to bring up. I wonder if maybe you spoke about it in a public place, somewhere still quiet and private but where the enviornment would be more controlled. But that would have to be your judgement call because I do not know her personality.

You need to reach out. Possibly to someone who has no ties to you, so counsellor or someone along those lines, you need some protection from their support as it looks from your post you have no faith or trust in family right now.


Staff Alumni
Is this relationship good for you? I really do not care if you mother likes her...your mother does not have to relate to her...she sounds abusive, unstable and lacking compassion...if someone I cared about was injured, I would get him/her what s/he needed, and make sure s/he were comfortable...that is what ppl who care do...please rethink if you are not a victim in domestic abuse...so sorry about your car accident...and it is called an accident...you did not purposely ruin your car...with much caring, J


Well-Known Member
I'm new to this forum.
I don't know how to break this to you genteelly but here it is.

This is your number one problem.

1. You love her.

All your other problems stems from your number one problem. Now, it is clear from what you wrote that she DOES NOT LOVE YOU. You have been in a car accident and what does she cares most about?

That you did not listen to her command to order you upstairs to bed.

That's right. Order you upstairs. She is clearly thinks that you are her object to be order around.

Then she break your plates and assaulted you when you just came back from the hospital. Think about this logically. It does not make any sense.

Now what is she getting out of this relationship?

I think it is clear

1. She took your phone

2. She took your money

It is clear to me as night as day. What she wants out of you. Hint: not you!

Steven Siew


Well-Known Member

This is my advice to you. I have a feeling that you may reject my advice but I feel bad if I did not at the very least provide it lest you claim that I held back my adivce from you.

This is what I believe you should do

1. Contact the police and report an assault by your girlfriend

2. Contact the police and report that your girlfriend stole your phone

3. Contact the police and report that your girlfriend stole your money

Here is why I think you should do the above. By reporting an assault, even if it does not lead to a prosecution , there will be a police record. This means that your girlfriend WILL BE VERY WARY of attacking you again in the future.

Also, she will bad mouth you, so you need a defence of "she assaulted me while I was still recovering from the accident". Having a police statement of the assault will allow other people to believe you (over her) because it is illegal to make a FALSE STATEMENT to the police.

Your phone and your money are your property and NOT HERS. She has no right to them. You paid for your phone. You earned your money legally. No human being can legally take them away from you without your consent. I said LEGALLY. What this means is that she took them iLLEGALLY. This gives you a right to report them to the police.

This will give you leverage to recover both your phone and money. Tell her that you will drop the charges if she returns them promptly and undamaged.

However I predict that you still loves her and you may not take my advice. But that's life for you.

Anyway I said my piece.

Steven Siew
Hey Camus, it's nice to meet you. It makes me kind of worried that you haven't written any more posts. Is everything alright? I'm very sorry to hear about your current circumstances. I'm not going to try to tell you what to do or that I understand what you're going through, but I will tell you that you DO deserve better. None of this sounds like it's your fault, and none of this makes you any less of a person. I'm really not sure what else to say, I wish I were. I'm very glad you came to this site though, I actually joined about 10 minutes ago. Just give us a little update and let us know what we can do!
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount