Please..... Please help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Theone, Jun 21, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Theone

    Theone Well-Known Member

    Hi everyone... Il try and do this in limited words... I'm 21 and am losing or to be more honest have lost the will to live... While I type this I'm sitting in a camp site on a student holiday with some really good people and my best friend and in the last 18hrs I have completly broken down (endless crying for no obvious reason) ... There was almost a third time a hour or so again but managed to hold it back... The second break down was in front of my mate which is the first time anyone has witnessed this and she handeled it very well (she is not good at serious conversations but was really amazing).... I just can't do it anymore!!! My medication dosage has been doubled in the last three weeks and is doing nothing if anything it's continulessly getting worse and worse I just want to kill myself something my two closest mates have read from my conversations and general mood and I keep getting told suicide is not an option.. I know it would hurt them if I did.... I keep thinking they are only my friends out of pitty and even though deep down I know it's not true I can't stop thinking about it.... What can I do please!!! It is driving more and more crazy I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do It anymore please Help... On the whole I get nothing from life anymore so how am I meant to hold on!!!
     
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Wow I am glad you found us and posted ...we can help you a lot! Why? Because we have been there and totally understand. Of course it is not a substitute for professional help and meds (I still need my Prozac or I will get suicidal for sure!) but this place is great for support and caring for just the situation you are in.
    Let me ask you how long is the trip? Sounds like your friends truly give a damn about you just don't know how to respond...that happens a lot so feel free to talk about whatever is on your heart or mind here ..we don't scare off easily at all..why? Because like I said we understand and have been there too.
    Can you tell me more about yourself?
    And again how long are you on the trip for? Do you think the trip triggered something inside of you?
    I am here for you :arms: Bambi
     
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I forgot to ask how long you and been on meds? Some of them take a while to kick in..they don't call it the "meddy-go-round" for nothing.
    Hugs Bambi
     
  4. Theone

    Theone Well-Known Member

    Erm this is the second day of the trip, but I don't see how the trip could of triggered it if anything these are the people I would most want to be around and I've been getting worse for an age now.... Er been on meds for like 70days and doing double that for 21 days (should have kicked in by now)... I've just broken down again in the tent (managed to make it look like I was having a nap) it's the third time now in less than 24hours... I can't understand It anymore, I'm emotionly drained....
     
  5. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    Hey Theone
    I'm sorry to hear your having such a rough time at the moment and having such intense thoughts and feelings. Where you are on holiday - is this close to home? Maybe it would be a good idea and safe for you if your are close to go back to the drs and explain how you are feeling and that the meds aren't helping? It kinda sounds like you need some more support in place, friends are brilliant when they're supportive but I found that by confiding in a friend I felt worse cause I then worried about what they thought and by trying to hide my true feelings all the time, I became more drained of energy and found I couldn't keep fighting. It is important at times like this to try to keep yourself as safe as possible even though I know this is probably not a priority for you at the moment. Do you have a crisis number to hand incase you ever needed it? Sending big hugs sorry if this doesnt help but keep talking and if you want to talk more you can always pm me. Sorry I haven't been around much lately, but haven't been in a great place. :hug: xx
     
  6. hi I have just joined this forum and I hope to find help here too. I'm not hurting as bad anymore, but I had a crisis once just like the one you're describing. It was awful. I don't think people who never hurted this much understands what's going on, so it's very good that you're here.
    You're much better and stronger than you might think in this moment, because when you break down as you described you just can't see right. It's like you're looking at all the bad stuff through a magnifying glass and it's scary, but it's not real and doesn't last forever. Just know many people have felt as bad as you do now, you're NOT different or hopeless or wrong!
    :night: (it's 6 pm in my time zone)
     
  7. Theone

    Theone Well-Known Member

    Thank you for everyones reply... I'm on my phone so I will respond the best I can... I'm the otherside of the country so there is no way I can see the doctor in the next week...
     
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Theone. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time while at summer camp. You have to pull yourself together hun. It's possible that being at camp may have triggered this, because you are away from home and in a different environment. It's good that you have such supportive friends who can help you while you are away at camp. They are right that suicide just isn't an option. You have to get help hun. Please don't give up. :hug:
     
  9. Theone

    Theone Well-Known Member

    See I don't think it can because of another environment because I'm at university and second year and have had a different environment hundreds of times + I'm with really good mates.... Since I last wrote in this forum I have had another three break downs which resulted in me going to a gp locally to ask for some help... The short story is that he didn't want to tamper with my drugs because he wasn't my actuall gp and that I should go home and see my regular doctor asap... Basically I can't go home early, money and everything and my gp is my university gp.... My parents don't know and I can't work out how to see my doctor without explaining it tomy parents as would need help getting there....
     
  10. Theone

    Theone Well-Known Member

    I've done it, I've done it, I've done it.... AT LAST :) I've finally found a way to kill myself and make it look like an accident... It's taken me months but I final have found the release.... I'm going to spend the next few days sorting out stuff and writing out some final notes but them I'm free... The weirdest thing is I'm so happy I've finally worked it out :)
     
  11. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Don't do it. No matter how it looks the truth is there. Why not change your lifestyle? Kill the old you and allow yourself to be made into a new you?You have tried things your way now do it another way. Life is short as it is, death is going to claim you as it does anyone on it's own. Enjoy life, and make a difference. I know you can do it, but not alone. You can achieve almost anything in this life, don't give up hope!Blessings..
     
  12. Theone

    Theone Well-Known Member

    I just don't care anymore... It's been over a week since I have had a day where I haven't broken down crying for no reason.... I can't hold on anymore what's the point
     
  13. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Theone. Please, please reconsider your suicide plan. Your death will cause so much pain and suffering for your friends and your loved ones. They will never get over it, even if they think that it was an 'accident.' Instead of spending the next few days planning your death, spend it planning on how you can change things for the better and improve your life. I know that it's hard spending every day breaking down in tears, but that is how life is when you're suffering from depression. We're here to help you get through the difficult times. Please don't give up. :hug: :cheekkiss:
     
  14. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    I wish like hell I could find a method. I've been to hesitant to try suicide since I took a crapload of pills and only vomited.

    But consider this: your life may not be as bad as mine. If you lived my life, it'd make you pine for yours. It'd make you appreciate yours.

    NOTHING COULD EVER MAKE ME APPRECIATE MY LIFE EXCEPT A BOUT WITH RETT'S SYNDROME, QUADRIPILAGIA, OR SOME OTHER WORSE DISEASE THAN THE ONE THAT'S RAVAGING ME.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.