Ok
Let me explain a little, as always using me as a reference.
At the tender age of 13 or so, I "wondered" about other boys, at 15 I thought I might be "gay", at 17 I was sure I was gay, that thought terrified me, it went against every thing my friends, family and peers, had told me was, good, right and natural in the world, it was a choice, "they said", so I chose not to be gay, not to be any thing, I was ashamed of who I was and the relationships I wanted, a second class person, so I did the manly thing, I ignored it, but it just wouldn't go away.
To cut a long story short, that tormented for over the years and fueled a pretty self destructive, self sabotaging, inward looking view on life, which came to a head, at the age of 32, New Years 1998/1999, and almost cost me my life.
So what did I want this section to be when I suggested it ?
A safe place where young people, or old people, like me, lol, can come and talk about issues around being gay, straight or bi, which even today, is still pretty high on the list for teenage depression and suiside, I know times have changed, but in some places attitudes haven't, mostly in the minds of some young men and some young women, but it's not there fault, they just don't know it just yet.
So for me, this section isn't about sex, getting it or not getting it, it's not about relationships even, but that is a part of it, its about helping people comes to terms with who they are "gay, straight or bi ?" because I think, the one the worst things that can happen is for a young person, to screw there lives up and happily through it in the bin, because that's what, narrow minded people told them was the right thing to do, because they are lesser people, that don't deserve to live, happy, well rounded lives, like "normal" people, soley based on who they have "relationships" with.
The cruelest part, is that this judgement, this sentence, is passed, by people, that will never know, never have experienced or never even considered, that gay people are, just people, all the same.
An example from the forum, I can no longer find to post a link, but it went something like this.
Q. I like boys :-(
A. Don't worry about it, its your choice, you can choose not to be gay if you want to, if it makes you unhappy.
What's wrong with that ?
Here is how I read it.
Q. I am not normal, I'm an undesirable person, second class, It's descusting, I'm ashamed, I'm scared, I'm confused, It's wrong, this is causing me great pain, I'm not the same, I'm not normal, my life is over, I'm a freak, I want to be normal, please tell me I can be normal, just like everyone else, I want to be the same, please let me be the same.
A. It would be much better if you were normal, only you can decide if you are normal or not, but think it would be better if you were, guys that like guys, thats revolting, you don't want to be one of "them", you want to be the same, not being the same, is making you unhappy, you should stop that right now, it's your fault you feel this way, you chose to like other guys, thats a bad thing, that makes you a bad person, good people don't choose to be like "that", it's up to you, you chose to be that way, choose not to be, I think it's just wrong.
Ok, I may have gone a little overboard, but you get the idea, that lad that posted the "I like guys :-(" never replied to any of the posts in the thread, the message he took away, sounded pretty much to me like, screw your life up and throw it in the bin, you'll never be happy if you are gay, so ignore it and hope it goes away.
I have been there done that, worn the T shirt and walked away from 25 years of solitude, on a personal level, on a physical level, on an emotional level and only just managed to walk away, with my life and my sanity, intact.
17 really is a crazy age to screw your life up and throw it in the bin, because someone told you it was the right thing to do, other people don't need to the learn that same lesson, in this day and age, it's too cruel a lesson to teach boys and girls
(Gets down off soap box)
That's what I was thinking, when I ask for this space.
The question that starts the whole thing off is "Gay, Straight or Bi ?" hence, my choice for the section title.
