(Please read) Better to know or not know?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Anonymous2, Dec 7, 2010.


As a mother, father, sibling, etc. which option would most console you?

  1. Option 1 (read post)

    4 vote(s)
  2. Option 2 (read post)

    21 vote(s)
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  1. Anonymous2

    Anonymous2 Well-Known Member

    If one of your family members commit suicide, would you rather know or not know that person is dead?

    I plan on <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> in a few weeks; as a result, it is likely that my body will not be found.

    I have 2 options.

    1. I can simply <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> and not write or say anything about it. If I choose this, it is possible that my parents and brother may go a lifetime without ever knowing what happened to me.

    2. I can leave a note that tells them I commit suicide.

    As a mother, father, sibling, etc. which option would most console you?

    Do you prefer closure or not knowing?
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2010
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i pick option 3, you don't do it. get help instead. that would be my choice as your family member. sorry.
  3. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    I also choose option 3
  4. Joshuwa

    Joshuwa Well-Known Member

    as above, option 3.
  5. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    option 3, dont do it try to get some help, whether it be talking on here to start or a dr or therapist or something.

    im always open to talking about things if you want to, either on here, pm, msn, aim whatever. i know theres more people like me too, who are open and willing to try to help
  6. Jenn3

    Jenn3 Member

    I agree, option 3
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I would pick option 2, because I would rather know than not know what happened to my loved one. But I hope that you reconsider drowning yourself. :hug:
  8. damage.case

    damage.case Well-Known Member

    If I were to simply disappear my family would most likely assume I suicided anyways.
  9. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    Definitely option 2. If your family know you are dead, they can sell all your possessions and drain you bank accounts and go on holiday to Cancun (in memory of you of course).
  10. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    I would prefer closure, I would never want my family to wonder if Im still out there, I wouldnt want to haunt them with the maybes and what ifs. That wouldnt be fair to them.

    I know this makes you feel better, this plan for the end. Please realize that its not the answer, your brain is telling you that this is the way because you will have no pain, no feelings, its making you believe that this is stop it all.

    You feel better because youve made a plan, in your mind youve set it in stone. Reach out to that family, let them know that your hurting and you need help. I know its a scary thing to do but hopefully they will help you realize that your loved and your life is worth way more than this.
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I also choose option three.. You don't want to become shark bait and fish food..
  12. All these mixed emotions

    All these mixed emotions Well-Known Member

    yeah just keep the fuck away from doing it...

    The pain you leave behind will be great and they will never get over it.

    Doesnt matter if its suicide or carcrash... it will mess people up.

    i can assume that you love them since youre asking for a opinion.

    dont die


  13. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Those who love you will not rest until they have answers, until they know the excat details, until they understand excatly how, what, and when. However much it kills them, you can spend your time planning making it seem so perfectly untraceable, but that just makes the pain of those who care worse, because they must they have too know, even if it means there life is devoted to it.

    The option you have, is give you, give them a chance, let them help you, and love you and support you, however hard it may be for them to do this, it is so much easier then having to find out what happened to you, and never have so many questions, and what ifs left unanswered, I didn't pick an option sorry, how can you choice, I cannot, I apologise.

  14. jota1

    jota1 Well-Known Member

    LOLOL :wink:
  15. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    as a parent whos lost a child to suicide I say option 3..Don't do it

    the pain never ends for us....I no longer live..I exist..
    you will destroy your family if you go ..

    get some help asap and tell your family how you feel and let them help you
    they will want to know every gory detail of your death and won't stop till they find out..
    Is that really what you want to leave your family? Your pain!
    please stay safe..you don't need to die
  16. thelightisatrain

    thelightisatrain New Member

    Option 3. However hard it may be to hear or however hard it may be to fathom that your family (and friends) really love and care about you, it is true. They may not be able to understand what you are going through but I know they would rather live with you and struggle with you than grieve for you.
  17. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    no parent should ever outlive their child. please reconsider.
  18. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    how you doing today?:hugtackles:
  19. happyville

    happyville Well-Known Member

    Like everyone else said, option 3 - but other than that, definitely option 2. Why would you want your family to be left behind not even sure whether or not they need to grieve over you? They'd look for you, search for you, alert the police that you're missing - all that trouble, all that pain, all the wondering - where is she? Is she alright? Is she dead? Your body will likely be found, making all that wondering come to a screeching, horrifying, terrible hault where all their worst fears suddenly become reality. If they somehow *don't* find your body, they will cling to your memory without grieving or moving on, always hoping on some level you are still alive, for years.

    That would be a nightmare for anyone. I couldn't do that to my family - taking my life is bad enough. The suicide attempt was bad enough.

    But option 1, while still a horrible thing and a nightmare in and of itself for everyone involved except you, would let them grieve. Some of them might not be able to move on, but they can grieve and come to terms with it.

    Oh, and: If you went with option 2, and they did find your body eventually, or someone else did - they wouldn't even be certain it was a suicide. Finding your body dumped without a note, a murder investigation would likely be launched, wasting the time of people who are trying to solve the murders of other people to bring peace to other families.
  20. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Option 3 - but for the sake of argument I would say option 2. I would want to know if my loved one was dead but i would also hope that i could see the signs before hand and stop them. I have had enough people in my life kill themselves that I hope i could realize before hand
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