Please Read. These are my Haunted Dreams

Discussion in 'Rape & Abuse' started by Bipolar2andu, Oct 24, 2006.

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  1. Bipolar2andu

    Bipolar2andu Guest

    When I was twelve years old, my uncle started molesting me. He would sneak into my room, tell me that this was normal because boys did this to each other as a way of showing they are boys. He would lower my jeans, and lower his jeans and push himself inside me. I would clinch my eyes, as I begin to cry. I begged him to stop. He told me if I ever told anyone, they would not believe me because he is an adult and I'm just a boy. He masturbated me, pushed himself inside me. He would lay beside me, his hand all over my body. I cried. I wanted to die. He would wear his house rob and undress himself and show his erection, asking if I wanted to feel it.

    This went out for four years before I finally had to tell someone. My dad dropped all charges against my uncle because my dad family told him if he allowed my uncle to go to jail, they did not want nothing to do with my dad. I was never allowed to see anyone on my dad side of the family after this happen. They disowned me. They called me every name you could be called.
    To this very day I still have nightmares about this. I could never figure out what I did to deserve this. I thought my family loved me. I thought my dad loved me to.I will never forget how my family told me that I was a lying S.O.B., and how all I wanted to do was hurt my dad. They said I was a poor excuse of a son, and he should have put me up for adoption years ago.

    I know since then, I've lived a secluded life. I've had such a hard time making friends. I've always been picked on in school, called names, thrown against the locker, been punched. The physical abuse from my grandparents, my step mother lasted for over 15 years. I have wanted to die so many times. I could never find someone to help me, who understood me. I've been alone since then, and today I'm still alone. I wish so much for my life to be over.
     
  2. Syd

    Syd Guest

    There are good people out there who will accept you. Many have bad experiences like this, some survive and others don't. The strongest ones will overcome their bad childhoods, and may continue to help others and become very determined and motivated in life as a result of working against their struggles for so long. I would suggest finding others you can relate to - anyone who's dealing with a life crisis, or anyone who is very accepting of those who are suffering emotionally. It'll take some time, but you'll become more motivated if you begin to accept and trust people again. True friends will see past your emotional problems, and will bring out the good that exists within you. It is definitely possible for you to make friends and find a significant other who understands how you feel. By refusing to give up and by helping others who are suffering, you'll be fighting off the negativity from your life, and others will want to help you in return.
     
  3. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    i am really sorry to hear of the things your uncle did to you
    and even worse in some ways what your family did when they found out..

    they were trying to protect themselves .. and hurting you...

    just so you know THEY ARE WRONG..... YOU DID NOTHING WRONG...

    pm if you want to... i to had a pig for an uncle... as for friends and being bullied at school... what your uncle and family did to you lowered your selfesteem which is a huge factor in being able to feel good about yourself and have the confidence to make friends and ward of bullies...

    it is possible for you to have all you want from life... just take one step at a time.. u will surprise yourself

    hugs
     
  4. Serenity

    Serenity Member

    am so sorry that you were3 so hurt and betrayed in this way you didnt desrive to be treated like that no one should

    i can understand how hard it is to trust people and that living each day is painful
    it is hard to trust people after such betral starting to trust people is har d some times we have walls that protect us from people we dont know
    give your self time to start to trust people

    am here and i care

    Serenity
     
  5. Bette

    Bette Guest

    Man, do people suck or what?

    Honey, I am so, so sorry all that happened to you. Your dad's family I am sure know that happened more times than we could all count to others in the family and outside.

    TRUST!!!!! Phew. I hear ya on that one. As for all the creeps bothered you in school I wish I could have been right behind you. I'd have knocked them silly. People tend to almost smell when someone is wounded and they have no decency or self-worth themselves so they pick on others. Those creeps will get what is coming to them up the road.

    In all sincerity I will be more than honored to be your friend. I know everyone here would be I am sure. PLEASE keep posting. We will listen. Actually, some of us have been there so we can have empathy.

    I am so sorry for your pain.
     
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