Please, read this.... I promise you, it WILL help....

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by fake.smiles92, Oct 29, 2012.

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  1. fake.smiles92

    fake.smiles92 Member

    My sister knows about my depression; however, some days she doesn't seem to care.. Then one day she sent me the message below. I've read through it so many times and every time I bawl my eyes out. Literally. But the more I read it, the better I feel. The more I feel as though suicide IS NOT the answer..... I've saved it to my computer and when I get upset I read it over and over again. It always makes me feel better.

    Please, just take the time to read it.

    Wanna hurt yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over you take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you lying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex-boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self-harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lies in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just affect you. They affect everyone. Don’t end your life; you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you. Copy and paste this as your status to show people there are people out there that care.

    Now, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I know how it is to want to die. I know how it is to not want to wake up every day of my life. I know how it is to feel so alone, how it is to feel as though no one cares, to feel as though I'd be better off dead.
    I know how it feels.
  2. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi Sam, what a wonderful sister you have to have written this for you - I imagine that it helps you a great deal...... I am no stranger to what you write at the end, either, and I do know that to end life by one's own hand is not the answer (however it may feel like it). I was rescued after my attempt, and am so grateful to God to still be alive and to learn the right way through the darkest night. No situation is hopeless Sam, there are only people who have become hopeless about their situation. :)
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Wow, that is so are lucky you have such a great sister who cares about you so much. It's too bad all families can't be this supportive. At least you know you can open up to your sister, and that you can open up on here too...we'll try to help any way we can :)
  4. midnightstar

    midnightstar Senior Member

    Wow. Just wow. :)
  5. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Probably the best thing I've read on here. Thought-provoking. Powerful. And perfect for a pro-life support site :)
  6. fake.smiles92

    fake.smiles92 Member

    Thanks to everyone that has read this.
    It means a lot. And I hope it's helped someone.. Just one person and my goal was acheived. <3
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