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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by paulg1986, Jun 23, 2013.

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  1. paulg1986

    paulg1986 New Member

    My girlfriend of 4 years has kicked me out we are always arguing and fighting I think she has just had enough. I am 28 years old we have a 2 year old child together I have had to move in with my parents again it feels really odd and I feel like such an idiot. I dont have any friends it was just me and her for 4 years so I lost contact with my friends. I dont earn enough money to get my own place so I am stuck with my parents. My parents are away and holiday next week I will be completly alone and im thinking about killing my self. I dont have any hobbies or aim in my life I just need somebody to talk to. When im not in work I just drink vodka and take sleeping pills to pass the day on I would rather do that than sit by my self all day being upset. I wish I could reset my life
     
  2. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Hi there. Welcome to SF.

    Firstly. You have a child. As a parent, you helped create that child, even if your girlfriend kicked you out, you have a responsibility to be the best father you can be for that child. Nothing realistically is more sacred than an extension of our lives, but many people forget this when they have children, their lives are not the same.

    Secondly, you have supportive parents. They have accepted you are in a pickle, and allowed you to move back home. I can relate to that part of it, I moved back in with my mum a touch over a year ago, and I'm also 28 now. It is awkward, looking at peers around us who have the 'successful family life'. But you have to focus on yourself, your parents, and your child.

    I think you may need to consider communicating with them. Drinking vodka on your days off or taking sleeping pills, is a dangerous spiral to get into. If there is a way you can stem what you are doing, it is more harmful the longer you carry on this way. It would also make it harder to stop.

    You have no hobbies, is there anything that would interest you in any way?
     
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi, I am sorry you are in so much pain ! You deserve to get help. I very much agree with what unimportant has said about pills and alcohol. Even just alcohol alone when being in so much pain will only make matters much worse. Although I totally understand that you are using them to dull the pain in the moment.

    How can you get prescription pills for the pain you are in? Do you have a doctor you can go to? A counseller you can go to? If the pills you have are from a doctor, can you make an appointment to let the doctor know you need to have your medication re-evaluated?

    When a child loses a parent to suicide it is something they have to live with the rest of theirr lives. It leaves an empty hole. Please do whatever you can to stay alive :hug:

    what you describe is way too much to handle alone. Please do not give up on getting the help you deserve so you can begin to get true relief from some of the pain. And also begin to heal. When people are in the depths of pain and isolation, we do tend to think that healing is not possible. I know all too well that this thought pattern comes from depression etc that is not treated.

    What are your parents like? Are they caring and supportive? Or are they pretty toxic? Please keep posting here. Try to make this your community, if that feels okay.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2013
  4. paulg1986

    paulg1986 New Member

    In reply to the first post I have a few intrests if you can call them that I like playing video games thats about it sad I know. Is there any medication that wilk help right away antidepressants usual take weeks iv been on them before and they didn't help. My parents are really good and supportive im lucky in that sense. My little lad is the only thing stopping me taking an overdose he would never know his dad and that upsets me alot, on the other hand I cant even get my own place for him to come stay I feel like a failure. Thanks for your replies its nice to know I can talk to someone who listens
     
  5. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Video games is quite a common interest. A number of people will be likely to share that - and its also how friendships can start (having something in common usually goes a long way to starting them up).

    Unfortunately - there is not really a 'quick fix'. Most things take time, and what can seem like a lot of effort, but you have to put that in. In order to get to the position of having a place of your own for him to stay, you have to work hard and save money. Alcohol is draining some of your funds that you could put to better use, but you have to be ready to realise this by yourself, not for others dictating it to you.

    And unless i'm mistaken, your parents would support you in any way regarding your son so he could stay too. (That's one of my brightest memories I have of my son, having him overnight).
     
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