I'm new and I just wanted to say hi. I'm 20. I'm female. I'm on Antidepressants. I sort of believe in God. The only reason I haven't committed suicide (and I don't think I will) is because of that chance that there is a God and I will be doomed if I do. That's how I was raised anyway. What makes me angry: my parents and sisters know I'm depressed and ready to die and pretend to care. Don't you think if they REALLY did care they would do their own research about depression and learn what I am going through. I have been telling them for months and yet they tell me it is my own fault! I was a nursing student and took psychology and pharmacology courses and I am the only one who know exactly what depression is- yet they tell me I'm depressed because I sleep to much and don't go out with friends, or have a job. ****!! Those of us who are depressed and suicidal lack something called motivation!! I am helping myself though because I don't want to kill myself and I don't want to live to be 80 feeling this way. I have been to see a therapist and my doctor has had me on 2 different antidepressants (that haven't been working by the way). Yet 8 months later I feel worse than ever. I'm running out of options. I've even quit drinking because I realized that I was closer to killing myself than ever when I got wasted last weekend. My beautiful dog Morgan was the reason why I didn't. I had the pills and everything. I wrote my suicide letter a month ago... Basically I'm desperate. I need more help because I'm not getting enough. My family tells me I'm high maintenance and selfish. I would move out but where I live it would be impossible without ending up on the street. Thanks for letting me vent. I hope I find the help I need here because I don't know where else to go.