okay so i guess you'll need a little background info to understand my situation. when i was around ten years old, i was molested by a neighbour..i never told anyone until about 3 weeks ago when i broke down and revealed it to my counsellour. somehow though, i had managed to push the memory of the molestation out of my mind for almost five years and then last year i began to remember it more and more. although, i had always had the feelings that accompy this type of event.. such as shame,guilt etc. anyway, i still dont have full memory of the event and i dont know if i really ever want to.. but tonight i was with this boy i am dating and after we "did stuff" i began crying because i felt used, although i know that i was not..i continuously apologized to the boy because i felt so embarassed for crying in front of him but he was so sweet and told me it didnt matter and he understood i was dealing with some things right now and he just held me..it was really sweet. but here are my questions: why was i able to repress these memories for so long and they just now are popping back into my head and affecting my life? and, why would i start crying after i had done stuff with this boy, ive been with other boys before but i have never had this happen to me.. sorry this is so long, but i would reaaaaaaaalllly appreciate some feedback because i honestly am so confused right now and just want to crawl in a hole and die so i can forget anything ever happened.