Please somebody help me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Scum, Apr 29, 2009.

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  1. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I've woken up really really dangerous, im scared its going to make me do it. Or take me somewhere dangeorous, or even juts malke me disappear.

    im really scared. i dont know wha to do.
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    nothing matetrs anymore. what will be will be. that sick thrill is so inside me right now. its just there.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Scum..

    I'm not really sure what to say,but perhaps its best to call your doctor/psych and tell them how you're feeling today:unsure: Please don't do anything harmful. Those feelings will pass xx
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    my first thought when i woke up was to call my foctor but it was past the time of appointments. im not sure they could do anything now. i donthave a pyshc. just a thgerapist. i was supposed to se her today but she called in sick late yesterday.,

    im really scared. i hate it when it makes me do something.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Is it possible to call the doctors surgery and speak to a nurse there?

    What do you think could help you right now?what could relax you?
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I don't think they could do anything art the surgery. they would probablu just call the crisis team but they always make me worse. last time i had contact with them they triggered me so bad i lost time and did myself some serious damage. i could try calling though, so you think i chouls?

    right now i feel i need t be smewhere safe to keep me safe, but they wont do that, and there is no were safe.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Scum,
    Do you have any friends or family you can surround yourself with?? You need to have people around you right now..
  8. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    no. they are all at work/college. my mum will be home for a short while (about 20 mins) soon and then my borhter will be bakc at half one. if I can stay safe until he comes in the house then im in a better position because i know i wont leave the house once he has come back. the only demon i have to beat then is extreme self hamr of some sort.

    im using all my DBT skills and trying really hard to stay here, to stay here. to stay ok. to stay in one piec.e

    all thats happening is that im feeling more alone than before.
  9. asri

    asri Well-Known Member

    hey how u feelin now? hope someone is home n with u.

    ever tried goin out for a walk when u feel this way?

    b safe
  10. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    my mum i here at the moment but she will be gone again shortly.

    i canrt lave the house when im like this. if i go out something really bad will happen, ill do somehting really bad to mysekf but wont have the contorl. im better styaing at home, where the options for harming mysef are more monimal and hanging in as much as i can.

    doing distracting, adding positive experiences, mindfulness, oppsite to emotin acvtion and the other things DBT has taught me.

    by the way, i havent said thanks yet on her,e but i do really aprpeciate all the replis so thank you so much.
  11. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    can you tell your mum how desperate you're feeling? i really suggest you tell her what's going on. your life is more important than anything she has to do today. please let her know.

    i;ll be thinking of you but i can't stay as i have to go . i'd hate hear that anything horrible happen to you.

    let your mum know scum, let her know.
  12. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Sh's gone. I;'m sorry. She starts her next job at 1. She works mornings in one school and afternoons in another. I'm sorry. I@m sure I'll be fine. have a good day.
  13. canis-lupis

    canis-lupis Well-Known Member

    We are here to listen if it helps
  14. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    thanks. :)

    my brother is home now so i dout ill leave the house. i just want to sleep now, not possible though.

    thank you to all who replied.
  15. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN


    I'm glad your brother is home.

    Does it help to talk here? Even if it's talking about something basic, something to try and take your mind off things?

    Just take things a few minutes at a time. Focus on now, on getting through the next few minutes.
  16. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    thanks. yeh, sometimes having people repsond to me helps ground me (which i could fele happening when daisychain responded, which was ace) it also helps me feel less isolated.

    ive been distracting myself as part of the skills im supposed to use so ive bene doing a vairty of different things, being on here is one of them.

    thank you for the support. i cant believe i found myself in fucking crisis all because of a dream that i needed to carry out but couldn't. i had an ok day yesterday. today its rock bottom with a twist of thrill.
  17. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    all day ive been hvaing little lapses of time and i dont remember posting that last comment. i was very surprised when i scrolled down the home page to see that i had put the most recent respons ehere.
  18. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    At least you're working to stay grounded though. You're not giving in, and that takes a lot!!

    What was the dream you had? (And if you don't want to go into it, that's okay; don't do anything that you think might trigger you again)!

    Just remember that you're not alone.
  19. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    yeh, definitely fighting, and its not easy. thanks :)

    i dont know hat the dream was. I don't know the majority of it but i do remember something about my old sixth form college and meeting friends and then having this huge urge to kill myself and i think i was going to jump off a building in the centre of the town. that was a tiny snippet, but i woke up with the thrill of needing to make the dream 'come true' which is impossible and because i cant do the whole i dream the urge was there to do somehting else instead.

    i hate these type of dreams. ive had two in the past two weeks, one of which i found myself nearly leaving my house at 2.30am. ive only ever had them on meds before but im not on meds right now and the fact im having them is scary because i dont know why or how to stop them.
  20. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Are you under more stress than usual? I guess it's different for everyone, but I know with a lot of people, when they're more stressed out, their dreams become more vivid, more real. It's happened to me a few times, and I HATED the dreams I would have.

    Hope you're managing to stay safe!!
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