please someone kill me

[UsedToBe]

Im a worthless piece of shit who believed in herself too much. I believed that I am lovable, strong and independent. I'm not. I am a stupid bitch. How do I make myself disappear? I don't wanna be here anymore but I'm too scared and too weak to kill myself. Please someone kill me. There's no point to talk about why I feel this way. I just wish I was dead because my body hurts. Please, please somebody kill me. I don't want to live anymore.
I'm tired of these constant mood swings, I'm tired of caring, loving, worrying.
I feel wo inappropriate. Please someone, kill me. You can start following me, I'll give you a list of places I usually go to... and then you can kill me because I can't cope with myself anymore.

 

[windlepoons]

...who believed in herself too much. I believed that I am lovable, strong and independent.

Those thoughts are right. The ones you are having now are wrong. You are not a piece of shit. You are more than a murder victim.
Mood swings - do you know why you have them?

 

[UsedToBe]

Mood swings - do you know why you have them?

I don't know, I was feeling fine over the weekend, now I just want to disappear. When is it going to end? I have enough. I want to die.

 

[windlepoons]

Can you investigate, read a book about mood swings?

Did anything trigger it, do you know?

 

[UsedToBe]

Did anything trigger it, do you know?

stress? extreme emotions in general?

Just gathered the means. Maybe tonight is the night. I know what to do and I know places in my town where I could go and get killed...

1. There is nothing else to be done
2. Future does not look bright. It does not look at all
3. I'm so tired of my unstable nature. I was like that since I remember, now I have enough.

guess I should change my nickname to attention_seeker.

 

[thepalestrose]

Please don't. As much as you probably feel that your life is over... It's not. I don't know you, and you don't know me, but I'm willing to bet you'll miss out on many things that life has to offer. I'm always here for you, sweetie.

e

 

[windlepoons]

You are not seeking attention, I think you are looking for help.
What looks bad about your future?

 

[UsedToBe]

What looks bad about your future?

Nothing. Nothing looks good either. Nothing new is going to happen. I've been ill for nearly 7 years in total with some short periods when I was alright. Each time I'm relapsing I feel worse than before.

Can someone kill me, please? I'm in the UK.

 

[windlepoons]

Ill with mood changes?
You seem to be married. Is he supportive?

No-one is going to kill you.

 

[UsedToBe]

Ill with mood changes?

Ill with depression. It started with a mild postnatal and then stayed with me. Probably forever.

You seem to be married. Is he supportive?

Yes and no. He is worried about my suicidal feelings and seems to be caring, but he made me have sex with him couple of times, called me stupid bitch. I was thinking of moving out, but since I'm not sure I will manage to get through July this won't happen.

No-one is going to kill you.

I will find someone. I'm too weak to kill myself.

 

[Stranger1]

They have meds for mood swings.. I know because I have been on them for about fifteen years..I ran out for five days and turned into instant asshole.. When I was back on them I was chilled out.. I haven't had andy side afeects from them .., I just know they work..

 

[windlepoons]

He made you have sex with him - that sounds abusive. Could you try a shelter? Put it this way, is it worse than trying to get someone to end your life?

Depression is awful. I feel unworthy of anything. But someone has seen you as worthy, and you have created a life.

 

[UsedToBe]

I have created two lives, to be honest. If I get through July I'll be moving out soon.
No one is seeing me as worthy anymore.

 

[windlepoons]

Then you have a future, change will happen. Who does not see you as worthy?

 

[UsedToBe]

Then you have a future, change will happen. Who does not see you as worthy?

no one who got to know me. I'm a bitch. Not nice, impulsive, unstable, two-faced etc.

 

[windlepoons]

If you know you have these qualities you can work on them. People can change Juniper, become happier in themselves.

 

[Fitzy]

Can you make a realistic plan to leave your husband? What support do you have?
Sending love xxx

 

[UsedToBe]

I'm done trying.
<mod edit: *sparkle* inappropriate*

 

[UsedToBe]

Can you make a realistic plan to leave your husband? What support do you have?
Sending love xxx

I'm getting support from my counsellor re sexual abuse in my previous relationship. I have a gp who won't listen anymore. I fell for another guy, not sure if It's mutual, but I'm going to ruin this tonight too. Closing down...

 

[Fitzy]

Will your GP refer you to a mental health professional?
Do you really want to get into a relationship while you are feeling so bad?
X