please someone kill me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by UsedToBe, Jul 11, 2011.

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  1. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    Im a worthless piece of shit who believed in herself too much. I believed that I am lovable, strong and independent. I'm not. I am a stupid bitch. How do I make myself disappear? I don't wanna be here anymore but I'm too scared and too weak to kill myself. Please someone kill me. There's no point to talk about why I feel this way. I just wish I was dead because my body hurts. Please, please somebody kill me. I don't want to live anymore.
    I'm tired of these constant mood swings, I'm tired of caring, loving, worrying.
    I feel wo inappropriate. Please someone, kill me. You can start following me, I'll give you a list of places I usually go to... and then you can kill me because I can't cope with myself anymore.
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Those thoughts are right. The ones you are having now are wrong. You are not a piece of shit. You are more than a murder victim.
    Mood swings - do you know why you have them?
     
  3. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    I don't know, I was feeling fine over the weekend, now I just want to disappear. When is it going to end? I have enough. I want to die.
     
  4. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Can you investigate, read a book about mood swings?

    Did anything trigger it, do you know?
     
  5. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    stress? extreme emotions in general?

    Just gathered the means. Maybe tonight is the night. I know what to do and I know places in my town where I could go and get killed...

    1. There is nothing else to be done
    2. Future does not look bright. It does not look at all
    3. I'm so tired of my unstable nature. I was like that since I remember, now I have enough.

    guess I should change my nickname to attention_seeker.
     
  6. thepalestrose

    thepalestrose Member

    Please don't. As much as you probably feel that your life is over... It's not. I don't know you, and you don't know me, but I'm willing to bet you'll miss out on many things that life has to offer. I'm always here for you, sweetie.

    e
     
  7. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You are not seeking attention, I think you are looking for help.
    What looks bad about your future?
     
  8. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    Nothing. Nothing looks good either. Nothing new is going to happen. I've been ill for nearly 7 years in total with some short periods when I was alright. Each time I'm relapsing I feel worse than before.

    Can someone kill me, please? I'm in the UK.
     
  9. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Ill with mood changes?
    You seem to be married. Is he supportive?

    No-one is going to kill you.
     
  10. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    Ill with depression. It started with a mild postnatal and then stayed with me. Probably forever.

    Yes and no. He is worried about my suicidal feelings and seems to be caring, but he made me have sex with him couple of times, called me stupid bitch. I was thinking of moving out, but since I'm not sure I will manage to get through July this won't happen.

    I will find someone. I'm too weak to kill myself.
     
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    They have meds for mood swings.. I know because I have been on them for about fifteen years..I ran out for five days and turned into instant asshole.. When I was back on them I was chilled out.. I haven't had andy side afeects from them .., I just know they work..
     
  12. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    He made you have sex with him - that sounds abusive. Could you try a shelter? Put it this way, is it worse than trying to get someone to end your life?

    Depression is awful. I feel unworthy of anything. But someone has seen you as worthy, and you have created a life.
     
  13. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    I have created two lives, to be honest. If I get through July I'll be moving out soon.
    No one is seeing me as worthy anymore.
     
  14. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Then you have a future, change will happen. Who does not see you as worthy?
     
  15. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    no one who got to know me. I'm a bitch. Not nice, impulsive, unstable, two-faced etc.
     
  16. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    If you know you have these qualities you can work on them. People can change Juniper, become happier in themselves.
     
  17. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Can you make a realistic plan to leave your husband? What support do you have?
    Sending love xxx
     
  18. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    I'm done trying.
    <mod edit: *sparkle* inappropriate*
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 11, 2011
  19. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    I'm getting support from my counsellor re sexual abuse in my previous relationship. I have a gp who won't listen anymore. I fell for another guy, not sure if It's mutual, but I'm going to ruin this tonight too. Closing down...
     
  20. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Will your GP refer you to a mental health professional?
    Do you really want to get into a relationship while you are feeling so bad?
    X
     
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