Please take this seriously

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Pseudonym, Oct 17, 2012.

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  1. Pseudonym

    Pseudonym New Member

    Hello. First off, please know that the subject matter is sexual in nature. I apologize if this thread is against the rules. Or if it offends someone. I figure it will.

    I have been soul searching for some time and I have realized that I am sexually attracted to animals, dogs to be specific. I have felt this way for as long as I can remember. I have never told anyone, but since this forum is anonymous, I guess it doesn't matter. I've done research on it online and it's called zoophilia. I've struggled with it for many years and even though I never told anyone, I grew up in a very religious household, so I kind of assumed that whoever I told would hate me for it. I also work in the animal care field, and it would completely destroy my career and life if anyone were to find out. I can't help but feel guilty about it.

    I feel like I'm some kind of mistake and I need to hit the reset button on life, if there's any truth to reincarnation. And if there isn't any truth to it, then I might as well just disappear into nothing. Who's going to miss such a pervert anyway? I'm sure my family would disown me if they found out, as well as my employers. I wish I could change it but I guess I cant, short of just accepting suicide. I tried it before with pills and failed.

    I don't know why I'm even posting here. I don't have a clear decision as to whether I'm going to do it yet or not, but I have a method picked out and a location. I have it all planned out. I feel kind of afraid, I guess. Maybe not afraid, but apprehensive. It's such a big leap going from life to death. It's hard to take the plunge, but my situation isn't exactly a "temporary problem". It's a birth defect or something. Or a mental disorder. And I can't change it. There's no medicine for it.

    The internet is the only place I can be honest about this. What would you do if you were in my shoes? How do I fix it?
  2. arghh

    arghh Active Member

    Have you...ever acted on your desire? I think usually, even if you feel an attraction to zoophilia, if you can control it so it doesn't run your life then you wont have to resort to something as permanent as suicide.

    I wish I had some real advice for you, I can't imagine being in your situation, feeling the way you do, but I don't think that people are defined by their sexual drive. You can be attracted to something and be fully aware that it is not an acceptable and keep it strongly separated from your reality. Stay strong and don't indulge in idle fantasies regarding your kink. Sometimes you can't help what you like, but you can control your actions. I almost feel like you are being overwhelmed by the shame of finding zoophilia desirable but once you place it firmly into the realm of not-going-to-happen, then you wont have to feel responsible for it.
  3. Pseudonym

    Pseudonym New Member

    That's the thing though. I'm not attracted to women. They all seem the same to me, indistinguishable. I haven't acted on it yet, but I know I will if i keep myself alive. Asking myself not to act on it is the same as asking myself to remain celibate all my life. I've been depressed for so many years because I couldn't afford a pet. It's not just the sexual part. I absolutely need an emotional connection with an animal, but if I ever get a pet I know what will happen, and I don't want that to happen. It's a lot more profound than you think it is. It IS a part of me. I don't get it. I know my head must be messed up. I guess the question is to ask whether bestiality or suicide is the greater sin. Obviously, I don't think god would mind suicide if I picked it to prevent the other. That is if you believe in god. I do.

    I figure if there's a legitimate reason to commit suicide, then mine is one. They should allow people with terminal disease and incurable mental illnesses to euthanize themselves. It's just the right thing to do.
  4. saiyukicloud

    saiyukicloud Member

    An advice i can give you is, do what makes you happy.

    For me, i am not a believer in god, there are too many things in this world that make me stop believing that there is an all loving god up there to help me. I don't know how to explain it bur, i feel there is too much injustice in this world for me to believe there is a god up there. Sure i hear miracles and stuff and yet, people who speak of god don't really mention the bad that is happening in the world. What do they do? "We'll pray for them", "Satan is the culprit".

    I believe in personal choices. We are all here for a reason, we are able to think, we are able to make decisions that may make or break us. It is part of our rights and that is a fact!

    Others may call me crazy for encouraging you, they would say, go to therapy. There is nothing wrong with that, it is a logical advice to give. YET, in our own minds, we know what we truly want but are unable to accept anything that looks abnormal. To be frank, isn't this like racism? Being the only black sheep of the white bunch, the black sheep must be evil.... I don't see a logic in that.

    What has define as good and evil in this world is made by humans, the first human beings may have killed each other for fun and it may be normal for them. Who can really say what is normal and what isn't? We are all able to make personal choices of our own.

    I guess the advice to you, is a question, What do you really want?
  5. empty101

    empty101 Well-Known Member

    Your situation is unusual but not by any means UNHEARD of. There was a thread in some other forum a friend showed me once where hundreds of people told their bestiality stories with their dog. It was quite the eye opener at the time.

    Among those people who "messed around" with their dog only a few of them were *only* attracted to dogs. The question for you is... are you 100% sure you're not attracted to men or women?

    If the answer is yes... well, I think you should throw away societies bias' and use some very simple logic and morals. If an action does not hurt yourself, another human being or an animal in *any* way then there is nothing wrong with it. Be careful, control yourself and be loving. Animals live a long time, and frankly caring for a dog can be EXTREMELY rewarding. Just remember - if you get a dog, you're committed for the long run. Don't lose control of your desires.

    Your sexual attraction is a bit different than most humans but you aren't sick, you don't need medicine and there's no mental problem. Just accept who you are and accept that human society will not like it.
  6. alyssaswoon

    alyssaswoon Well-Known Member

    No one can choose who or what they're sexually (or emotionally) attracted to, and it's not "your fault" because there is nothing wrong with how you feel. If you're not hurting anyone, there's nothing wrong with it. There are forums online for people who are open about their attraction to animals and will share their experiences with you, you just have to look. You're not a pervert, you're not lesser than any other person on this planet, you just have a different sexual orientation. While yes, it is technically illegal, it doesn't mean it's wrong. A lot of things that are illegal (or once were) are normal things for some people, and there's nothing wrong with it.
    Do not be ashamed of who you are because of what turns you on, you can't help it any more than some men who are turned on by other guys. Yeah, some people believe being gay is wrong, but does that make it so? No. I stand by my, "if you're not hurting anyone else, then go for it".
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