please talk to me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by hellostarshine, Oct 24, 2007.

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  1. I can here out of desperation. Please talk to me. I don't know how much more I can take. I don't even know if I'll be here tomarrow and I don't know if I'm serious enough to get help. I'm 17, completely alone. I honestly don't have a single friend. It wasn't always like this, but you know how highschool can go. And it's been this way for the past 3 years despite attempts. My parents recently got divorced, but they still love me and are worried about me. I feel so guilty for what I've done for them. I tell my mom how much I hate her and she cries. But it's not true in the least. I'll never be who they want. I can't keep doing this. I met a boy who said he loved me. I fell so hard for him and "never felt that way before" He lived pretty far away, but I thought it was love and he would save me from this mess. Then he told me basically how I was immature, not good enough for him, how I'm lucky to even have him telling me this, that he doesn't ever want to see me again, and lastly, to "piss off!". I'm all alone. I don't see how things will ever get better. I'm not afraid of dying, anything seems to be better than this. I can't stop crying. Three years of this, and now, I'msupposed to go out into the 'real world"? No one cares about me expect my parents who have to. Please talk to me. I want to know that someone is out there.
     
  2. DayOn

    DayOn Active Member

    I can't be of any help because my life is screwed up as well, but I can relate to some of the things that you are going through. If you want to talk about whatever doesn't matter private message me and we can exchange emails.

    See? I'm the first to reply, and trust me, you're going to get a lot of replies, if that means anything.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 24, 2007
  3. it does mean something to get a reply. it means alot more than it should. I feel guilty because i know so many people are going through so many worse things. who am i to feel so weak? am i not strong enough to live?
     
  4. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    Everyone here is in one way or another weak. Sometimes in life you just need to think about YOU, I've been living my life thinking about everyone else and never myself; thinking what other people are thinking about me. Try to do things which you like, go out and have fun. Even if it means being alone, just go have a walk in the forests, watch a film in the cinema. Ignore the people and have fun.
     
  5. saeyoon Chung

    saeyoon Chung Well-Known Member

    I feel sorry to hear about the divorce. It sounds like you still love your parents and your parents still love you dearly, though you may have hurt each other in the past. Very often we say things we do not mean.

    High school is only a partial 'simulation' of the society. Sure helps a lot if one did well on it, but it does not dictate how anyone's life is going to end up in the future.

    Getting out in the real world.. it's scary for everyone, but you should also be excited about it.

    There are so many opportunities and interesting people out there.. stuff we couldn't have dreamed up in high school.(I graduated only 2.5 years ago)

    As for your relationship, I hope it works out. But if it doesn't.. you should let "time" heal your heart. That's what everyone says when talking about breakups, time heals everything. Before we know it, we'll find someone else and move on.

    You'll have plenty of opportunities.. in the future.
    By the time you're in 20's, you'll probably be immersed in the dating scene.
    I'm not making light of your heartbreak and your love for him, but there's plenty of fish in the sea.

    Anyway you might want to talk to a psychologist for help. Divorce is such a painful thing to go through for anyone young or old, from any walks of life.
    I just pray you and your parents will get together someday.


    Please don't give up now.. you still have time.
     
  6. seishou

    seishou Guest

    you shouldn't feel guilty, you haven't done anything wrong. Things might not be perfect on my end, but that doesn't stop me from hoping things will get better for you. I know how painful it is to be alone
     
  7. bluekitten982

    bluekitten982 New Member

    I know its hard to be in a place like this. I was once wrote in a letter about how much I hated my mom and how she was ruining my life. I never expected her to read it. I think I wrote it about 6 years ago, ocassionaly I would find it and hide it some place else until one day she found it. She came up to me and asked why I had writen all of that stuff with tears in her eyes I couldn't help but feel terrible I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. I never really told her why I had writen that I dont think I ever will. I guess what Im trying to say is that I dont think anybody gets along with their parents and that you should try to find somekind of common grown or just stay out of each others way for a while.
    Now as for the guy that you met, forget about him. There are many more where that came from, dont get too hung up on any guy right now, you need to focus on yourself cuz overall some guys are jerks and the thing is its not your loss it his. The reality is that HE is going to regret leaving you for you will become a wonderful, beautiful and mature woman and he'll be crawling back to you. So dont give up hope show him what he's missing, making regret leaving you and most of all be strong for every thing will work out in the end no matter how dark that tunel may seem right now.
     
  8. it makes me cry to hear the kind words of strangers. it helps so much to hear all of your words, thank you so much. I know everyone here must be suffering. May God bless us or hope grace us
     
  9. sorrowstealer

    sorrowstealer Member

    God will bless us. When you feel all is lost, God is with us. The bible says that Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. The bible aslo says that he will never leave us nor forsake us, even to the end of the world.

    I'm here for you if you want to talk. I will post my MSN info when I get it set up.
     
  10. fighter

    fighter Member

    hi... i know, it's really horrible to feel that way. i can relate to a lot of it. my parents divorced, etc. it sucks... i believe you and everyone here can be happy one day. i know it's possible.

    if you ever want to talk, please feel free to send me a private message. i'd love talk/listen if you feel up to it. :)
     
  11. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    god that guy sounded like a total prick. I'm sorry he put you through that. :hug:
    And your parents dont care about you just because they are your 'parents' they seem to genuinely care.
    There is hope, it's all abut learning strategies and weaning ourself back into society so to speak, but yes we cant do this alone.
    PM me:)
     
  12. numberman

    numberman Well-Known Member

    Being a male.I can only totally despair of some of my compatriots who seem to think that they have been placed on earth as some gift to women-kind .It sounds like you were unfortunate to meet one of them. We are not all like him,I can promise you.


    Despite perhaps as with many teenagers having a tense relationship with parents you need to always remember that this is simply surface-deep and beneath this,the important part,they are as strong as a rock for you.That should give you the stability to face the future with confidence.You are entering a time that I personally believe is the "prime-time" of life,yes there are struggles such as exams and the dating scene on the way but these are accompanied by a time of great freedom and lack of responsibilities ( eg children). Do not waste these years - the latin is "carpe diem" , seize the day.Do you have college/uni coming up? Embrace it,enjoy it,do it!
     
  13. flowerpot

    flowerpot Well-Known Member

    This probably won't be much help but..

    I know it feels like things won't get better, but you'll never know unless you wait and see. Who knows.. in a year or so your life could suddenly turn perfect. It is possible. Giving up is the easier solution but I honestly beg you not too. Please don't feel guilty, nothing is your fault. You've been so brave to get through 3 years of this. Just have hope that with tomorrow comes a better day.
     
  14. thank you guys. I know everyone here must be hurting as much as me. The boy thing sounds so cliche, I know. He was my only friend and I thought he was so incredibly perfect. Maybe I just saw him for who he wasn't. I don't know. Has anyone here gotten help? Maybe there is another thread for this somewhere. Ican't live like this anymore. Either things need to get better or.. I dont know. Yes, I am going to college next september, but It's been so long since I've had a friend. I don't know if I'll ever be able to make them.
     
  15. elliebelle

    elliebelle Active Member

    Have you seen a doctor or a therapist about this? They can be very helpful. Sometimes medication is needed and therapy might help give you the confidence to make friends. If you need to talk you can send me a private message. Hang in there.
     
  16. Reaper_01

    Reaper_01 Member

    Look on the bright side. At least you are still young you have your whole life ahead of you.

    Some of us here, myself included are old and have had life pass by.
     
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