Please tell me things will get better

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by bingtowers, Aug 8, 2012.

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  1. bingtowers

    bingtowers New Member

    It's been a hell of a year. I've moved to a new city. I split up with the man I thought I would marry. I've had to accept I'll never have children after failed IVF. Just after I moved to the new city, I had an accident and spent 4 months with my leg in plaster, and couldn't get out out my flat much. I was off sick because of it and am still picking up the pieces financially. And today, I got told my job's ending. (It was an agency job but the department manager is making cutbacks, even though my immediate manager wanted to keep me.) It was a job I'd wanted for ages and love it.

    And to top it all off, I'm really struggling to lose the 2 stone I gained when I was in plaster so want to go back to the laxatives I used to take. I honestly feel like nothing is worth it any more. I'm a loser and everyone would be better off without me. I'm a rubbish person. I've been thinking about ending it all, but I can't even do that cos I'm a coward. I can't tell my boyfriend about this cos he's lost 3 friends to suicide. He'd be so much better off without me though. I just want a 'normal' life and to feel better but I just don't see how it will get better.

    I'm sorry for rambling. I just have no-one to talk to.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome to the forums. I can relate to what you are saying. I can't get a job even though I so badly want one. I'm stuck on disability. I've gained a lot of weight too mainly because of all the anti psychotics my doctor had me on, but I have lost a stone in the last month =)
    Anyway I just want to tell you there is always hope, and people you can talk to, especially on here, this is a great site full of understanding people, I hope you begin to feel better soon :hug:
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi bing :) Welcome to SF where there are many caring people who will talk with you, and help with perspective and hope. You are certainly NOT a rubbish person, and there is certainly hope, even (or especially more so) in dark times, and we can learn to accept the truth that there is a path for each person who wants to find it. :)
    Although....I know that when someone comes across as too positive, it may not be that good to hear if/when you can't see it yourself....... but if you feel you are drowning in a turbulent sea you'd wish someone would throw you a life jacket - and those who've come through their knocks and scrapes know that this is possible, that's why we're here hun :)
    [If anyone deserved to be called a rubbish person, it would be me, btw - but I don't dwell on that now, because freedom is increasingly there, mentally, as long as I don't backtrack :)]
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