Please vote... Part 3 (My family)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by touglytobeloved, Apr 4, 2008.

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  1. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    For those who dont know me: Im ugly, I have health problems, Im sad, depressed, suicidal. Dont want to die, but I cant live anymore. Because of my situation I will never find love (and I cant live without love, its the only thing that I care about now). Also, I love HER so much, that I cant bread without her, but I know that she can NEVER love me.

    So, the third question:
    Should I tell my family that Im suicidal?

    (if its not hard for you, write your posts with RED colour, if you think I should not tell them, and with BLACK colour if you think I should tell them)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2008
  2. LonelyTraveler

    LonelyTraveler Well-Known Member

    Probably wouldn't tell the folks. At least until after the point-of-no-return is passed. A person's family has a distorted view of that person. They don't see our pain, and they love us out of necessity rather than because we are worthy of loving. They don't understand how a person can be totally rejected by the world, because they were accepted and loved.
     
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Well you could tell 'em, but thing is, why not tell someone who can actually get you the help you want. Like a doctor or health services. They can set you up with professional supports. You are not going to get well just by telling your family, friend or the girl of your dreams.

    Everyone is worthy of love, of wellness, of recovery. Everyone.
     
  4. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Thats what im afraid of, they wouldnt understand, and it would hurt them.
     
  5. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    I agree with dazzle.
     
  6. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Doctor and health services are not even on my list of choices. They cant help me, so why to bother. The thing is, I dont want to tell someone because Im looking for help, just to LET IT OUT, and if its possible, to find understanding and support.
     
  7. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    Support for what? To get better?
     
  8. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Not to get better, and I cant say its a support, maybe I have use a wrong word. I want to be understood, to tell them that there is no other way, and to make them believe in that. I know its hard...
    But, If I leave without telling anyone, they will alway ask: WHY?
     
  9. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    They are your family and they aren't ever going to believe suicide to be a good option. I'm sure you can understand that. No one wants their child to die. :hug:
     
  10. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Well.. i never told my folks anything about it, but thay do know i have this depression thingy. About a year ago i took pills and needed money coz' i servived and had this nice 100$ ambulance bill to take care off, i had no money so i asked my sister for help, she the only one knows about it as far as i know. My folks never talked with me about it, never did she, thay know that i dont like to talk about it, so thay dont talk about it, but maybe thay all know...
     
  11. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Yeah, my family knows that im depressed. its something that I can not hide even fi I want to. They see that Im not happy, I dont go out with friends, I have told them that I dont like my life, I have told them that I think i will never find a girl that can love me, i have told them that I dont care about the future and the things that might happen, but I have never told them this so directly. Yet, they know that i dont like my life, they just dont know that I plan to end it.
     
  12. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    In your first post you said you don't want to die, but you cannot live.... well I believe you when you wrote that, even though you are adamant about not getting help.

    Thing is, you don't want to die. And you don't have to die. In fact, there will be a day in your future when you wake up and spend an entire day without thinking of suicide. But it's so hard to see that day from here, from right now when you are in the depths of depression.

    If you want to tell your family, friend or girl only so that you will get their support for your death you are in for a shock. It is depression that makes you want to die and guess what, a non-depressed person is not gonna understand, they might be supportive, or angry, or afraid, or confused or sad. But there's no way they would support you in wanting die. In fact, I don't want you to die either.

    I repeat. You started this post by saying you don't want to die. I believe you. Others will believe you and help you learn to live. All you have to do is ask.
     
  13. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    I didn't tell my mother for a while, but when I went into a small facility, she had to be told. She has cried some, prayed a lot, and loved me with no conditions. If your parents can help you find help, ask them to. If you have an open communication with them, talk about your feelings. My teenage daughter talked with me about her depression and suicidal thoughts, and I think it helped her to tell me. We have always been fortunate to have a son and daughter tell us everything. Sometimes more than we wanted to know. But we figured that if a teenager is talking we'll listen. It's when they stop that we know there's trouble. If you don't have that kind of openness, you can begin the process by talking about some of your feelings, and let them know by what you say that things are bad enough that you want to die. I totally understand the problem with doing that in most homes, but it really is never too late to start talking. I hope you find someone - even if not your parents - to be open with. Talking always helps. It doesn't necessarily cure, but it does help.

    Jim
     
  14. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I want to live a life full of LOVE. I want to spend my life with her. Who doesnt? But I cant have that. NEVER! So, I dont want to live a life without her, I dont want to live a life without love.
    I know, I can never be loved for what I am, for how I look, NEVER! Bad health has just finished me.
     
  15. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Talking will not cure me. But I know it can help me, it can make me to feel better, in some way. But, what about them, how will they feel?
     
  16. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    The fact is, I want to tell them, or someone else, but not to be helped, just to make me feel better. No one can help me, Its a fact that I didnt want to accept it, but finally I find out that i must accept.
    So, if I tell them, I will hurt them. If I dont tell them, I will hurt them when i will leave.
    And, if I dont tell them, Ill die with all of my feelings trapped inside, but, Ill probably die anyway, so does it really matters?
     
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