why can't this stop? why can't I be better? Normal or whatever that is? why can't I just stop? It all needs to stop, please. I hate to post again. I'm at work. But I've shut all doors and can't handle atm. Too much to do, too much on my mind. I can't do anything, can't concentrate on anything. I'm just here, physically. When is it time to call it? Last night I spent a lot of time looking into methods again. I'm very scared to do this. I can't fail when I try. no other options.