Please..

[tcdk]

Hi Everybody

Im a 24 year old guy from Denmark. (So sorry for my bad typing)

Im diagnosed "Skitzotypical" (Simple Skitzofrenia)

I've had suicide thoughts since I can remember, but since year 2000 I have been in some sort of treatment.

Its a little hard to explain, but I have a very good/nice/lovely girlfriend who supports me VERY much, she kept me from thinking "bad thoughts" since about year 2000.

Ive got "pension" from the state, but I have a job, that is my dream job. I have a lot of "judgment" at my job so nothing to complain at that point.

Every time Ive got a moment for my self where I can think about "the life", I go in some sort of bad mood, (Grunge Music and Pink Floyd helps me) and only focus on "why the hell do I live?" ..

I love my girlfriend, my family, our pets, my job.. But I almost always think about leaving to the "other side".

My only reason not to suicide is that I dont wanna hurt my family. That thougt have keept me from doing it "for real" in almost whole my life now.

I find it very hard to talk with my shrink about it..



Every evening I go to bed, I hope I dont wake the next morning, that will be the most easy solution.


Sorry if you dont understand, this is very hard to explain for me.

 

[allofme]

hi and welcome
i think you did a good job explaining yourself... i wonder if you are being treated for any depression.. ofter people with mental illness (like me) can and do have more that one diagnosis... i wonder is there something about "the other side" that makes you want to be there... as for you shrink i think it is something he/she should know but until you are able to talk about it in therapy we are here.. and many times people find posting is the first step to being able to talk things over in real time.. and until things get figured out i do hope you continue to remember how much your family loves you and you are right when you say your death will hurt them..

 

[asvt]

Whats is it about life that makes you feel this i mean you say you have a loving family, pets, great job. so what is it that makes you so depressed.