Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by querida, Nov 6, 2007.

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  1. querida

    querida Well-Known Member

    Its been a long time since I've been here. I thought I was getting better....

    I don't know where else to turn. I really need your help. It all seems so pathetic I have no real reason to feel down. I'm at university and I have an amazing boyfriend. But he is all I live for and he lives over 4 hours drive away. I only see him once every 4 weeks or so.

    I live with 4 friends but I rarely see them. Often it feels as if they arn't even there. I feel so lonely all the time. I've been trying so hard to feel happy and I've been putting on a brave face. Everybody thinks I'm okay.

    But I'm not... I can't take it anymore. It's all got too much. I can't go on like this. Please help me. Don't ignore me. I don't want to feel alone anymore.
  2. simonl

    simonl Member

    have you spoken to anyone at your counseling department? there are people there to help. they can help you with ways to understand and reach out to those who really care for you. go in there with that question in mind, how to reach out. you also have this forum now, i am a university student too, lost my girlfriend, and am trying desperately to get her back before its too late. i hope to help you while i try to help myself and others.
  3. hey. ur not alone, because we are all here with similar feelings and feeling really down and low and wanting a way out of it. u dont have to feel alone anymore :) here if u wanna chat. takecare x
  4. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    OK. I'm going to try not to sound harsh here. Because sometimes other people can see things clearer than you can when you're living it.

    It really sounds like you have a dependent personality. Which means that you depend on other people for your happiness. That's fine as long as you always have someone around who makes you happy. But it isn't always going to be that way. You're setting yourself up for disaster.

    People are notoriously unreliable. One day, a friend won't show up when they said they would or the boyfriend won't come to see you when he promised and you'll be out of your comfort zone. You'll be unhappy because you've told yourself (and reinforced the belief) that the only way you can be happy is if you're loved and desired by others.

    Now everybody wants to feel wanted and cared for. This isn't a bad thing. But basing your entire existence on it will lead you to perpetual unhappiness. You must find a way to be happy with yourself and within yourself. It's hard but it can be done.
  5. simonl

    simonl Member

    it's not so cut and dry. while she states boyfriend and a few friends, the fact is that she's lacking any kind of significant human contact. anyone will go crazy before too long without this type of contact. support is usually appreciated only when someone doesn't have it.
  6. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Not necessarily. I have no friends and have had no romantic interest in my life for well over 10 years and I would say my psychological health is probably better than some who do have all of these things.

    What I'm trying to say here is that happiness is a state of mind. If you have to depend on someone else in order to be happy, you may very well never be happy. Or at least not for very long. You're better off trying to learn to depend on yourself. At least then you won't crash and burn when your friends fail you or your BF/GF dumps you.

    Of course nothing is as simple as a couple of paragraphs of periphery analysis. I realize that. People are more complex than that and if it were easy to make important changes in critical areas of your thought process, almost none of us would be here on this board.
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