Pete - thanks. Hope ur okay
herenow - I don't think any amount of writing is going to take this pain away. Ever. But I live alone, have no friends and no family.. so have no one to talk to. This is the only place I can vent and have someone acknowledge that I'm hurting. I feel so alone. Like.. no one would really care if I died. They say they would, but they wouldn't. Not really. I can't believe this is happening to me. I genuinely can't. I can't stop crying, shaking.. I don't know how long I can hold out before I completely buckle under the strain.