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pls stop judging/comparing lives/experiences

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by lost_child, Jun 6, 2008.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    ppl say "they understand", or "how can you be hurting", "my life is so much worse then yours"...do you not think, that I think about how much worse ppl have it then me, do you not think I feel bad for feeling how I do, do you not think i question everyday why I'm hurting? I'm human, I'm no robot...what happened to me, it the worse for me, because I suffered, because it was me it happened to, because they my feelings, they my thoughts...they mine, and only I HAVE lived my life, only I am living with my life...the same as every person here, regardless of the past, the present, what issues/problems you are facing, there the worse because they happening to you.

    I'm so damn tired of people judging expereinces its not a competion..who hurts the most, who has the right to hurt the most...who has more right to feel the only way to end it is to end they life, who has more reason to live....don't compare my life, my feelings, don't tell me your life is worse then mine and I should be thankful for what I have...sure I am, I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, I have a car, I have a job, I worked for those, i have money for food, I have the money to buy things...all material shite...but I don't have love, I don't have care, I've never felt wanted, i've never felt safe....

    so when you sit there and tell me my life isn't that bad, please respect the fact, that's its my life......up until a few years ago I had no feelings...and only now are the feelings starting to come back.

    sorry if this makes no sense, I just had to get it out...its not a competion...its life, one life, its not a game, no second chances...
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Couldn't have put it any better. I totally agree with you, Lost_Child.

    It doesn't matter what happens. What feels like something small to one person can be devastating to another. Emotions, feelings.. cannot be compared. Experiences can be compared in itself, but what it causes, cannot be compared. If you're hurting, that sucks, that is what matters. Who cares who 's hurting more and who isn't: you're hurting, and they're hurting. In fact, there is no "I hurt more" or "I hurt less", really. If you hurt, you hurt.

    And like you said. it's not an effing game "who's the saddest" or "who has a harder life" or whatever. Life is Life. And we need to deal with it. Support each other, not 'showing off' how much pain and agony one's in.

    BIG HUG to the OP :hug:
  3. kittyD

    kittyD Well-Known Member

    My personal experience has been that same knows same. When I had to learn how to survive with an alcoholic, I learnt from others in the same situation. I believe that the concepts of 12 step and offshoot groups is that help can come best from one who has suffered the same core problems.
    I too dislike being told how others are worse off than me, so I had to learn--concepts, not specifics, in that for their own reasons, other ppl couldhave had the same feelings.
    One of the things i appreciate about this forum is that thee are no rules to follow, everone is equal in their pain, and opinions are acceptable.
    Sorry to quote yet another slogan but 'take the best and leave the rest 'has worked for me.
  4. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    i like your post lost_child and i do agree with what you're saying.

    just remind yourself that those people are going through stuff themselves- like their own guilt, shame and anger for their own suffering perhaps and is passing that on to you. how you feel, which you're stating here, is the most important.

  5. Whiskey

    Whiskey Member

    First off Here a *hug*.

    I only been here well 2 day to be exact and I read a few of your post lost_child, and I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you need to pm or messenger me, I have aim and yahoo as well.

    With that said, wow you convey what I been trying say in so many different thread I made in other forum etc...

    I couldn't have put it better myself, and I know where your coming from. I hate people who don't understand, because they can't believe that some people life is that horrible, it unbelievable, and they are just being ignorant.
  6. Im sorry but I have to go against the numbers here. The truth is I am the king of losers. I get jealous of even from ppl in these forums. Alot here have bi-polarwhatever.

    But what if you have social anxiety, bi-polar, agoraphobia and on top of this loneliness. How fucked up can one mans life get. I JUST WANT TO DIE RIGHT NOW!!! IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT JUST STABBING MYSELF ALL WEEK, I CANT!!!!

    Tell me how was your weekend? If its more interesting than sitting at home the whole day playing the PS OR THE PC then you have got a much more interesting or a much better life than I do. I am the emptiest of empty that is the fact, i went to myspace, i have done research on all the forums, read every body else forum profiles their posts over the last 7 days.

  7. Ps

    The Point Is Everyone Is Better Than Me, Has Got It Better Than Me, Has Friends, Have Relationships, Gets Laid, But

    Has A Life!!!,

    Except Me, That Is Why My Name Is

    Why Me????????? Out Of 6.5 Billion Why Me??????
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Lets not get away from the op. What might be the worst thing in the world to someone may seem like nothing at all to someone else. You are right lost_child. This is not a competition to see who has had a better or worse life than someone else. When someone says they understand, or share their experiences with you, I don't think they are necessarily saying that you have it better than they do. I think it is more like they are trying to find that common bond that links you together. You can never truly understand what anyone else has gone through, but through similar circumstances you can get close. I wish I could take it all away so you would have never had to endure all the things you did. I can't and you can't. It happened and now it is time to do all you can to try and heal. The road is long and hard. It isn't free from bumps or rough places. You continue on a little at a time until finally the journey ends. We are all here rooting for you to cross that finish line. Let us help where we can. :hug:
  9. annoyed

    annoyed Guest

    whyme, I think that's a very selfish statement you made.....

    what about the children who are being raped everyday?
    what about the children who are staved?
    what about the men and women being beaten daily, men havin to watch there wifes be raped?
    Children dying from AIDS?
    What about the women who was trapped in a basement for 25 years, raped by her father, carried 7 children conceived during rape?

    so remind me your life is so much worse then anyones??
  10. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Not that I know anyone's life in here but there is (naturally) a middle ground to it all. Pain is relative, that I can be sure of. What cripples on person can be nothing to another.
    That doesnt mean though, that there are some people who have little or no reason to dwell on their suffering as much as they do. There are clearly some who have problems that are easier to solve than others, that fact cant be denied. It's hard to watch the outpouring of sympathy for a problem that will likely fade over time, when your own problems have lived with you for as long as you can remember.
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