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How are you doing?i cant say much as i take medication in much bigger quantities than i should [not painkillers though] but this really isnt a good idea.im not here to tell you what to do but this could have long term effects and please be careful.Please talk to someone if you feel you need further help.Is there anyone if your outside life you feel you may be able to approach about this so they can help you get more help and also to give you some extra support?i know that it is hard and im sorry that you feel so bad that you feel the need to do this.