As the tears roll down my cheeks, I open the bottle each pill I take is wishing away 1 bad thing from my life, from the first to the last, 1 for each person who hurt me, 1 for each bad thing done or said at last its time now my heart is racing, with fear? With hope? As I walk down the stairs to freedom I fall to the floor the room is spinning around me taking me to a new better place a bright shining light welcoming hello god here I am I sit alone in my room, wondering how things might have bin Wishing every day I wasn’t me, I wasn’t here, Wanting to be somewhere else, being someone special. Letting the blade slice across my skin, feeling the cold pain, Blood dripping on my sheets making me feel real. Tears welling up inside that I find hard to realise I need to be held, I need to feel, I sit and wonder as I try to hide the tears What I ever did wrong to deserve this pain. I feel so trapped and all alone, lost, in a dark parallel. Trying to be something I’m not just to be real. I can’t explain how I feel; No words can describe the pain that I suffer Why has god chosen the life for me Did I do wrong in a previous life. Is the not earth but relay hell where I try to survive?