Poem I wrote in the hospital

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Talia862, Sep 12, 2016.

  1. Talia862

    Talia862 Well-Known Member

    All I see are ashes.
    And all I feel is pain.
    As words ricochet like bullets.
    Through the soft part of my brain.
    “You’re not here to make friends.”
    The rats that scurry
    in the hallways of my mind
    stop chewing on the insides of my skull
    for a moment.
    I know my limitations.
    And this is one of them.

    We’re just a group of strangers
    forced together in our broken lives.
    but friendships happen, sometimes
    when we least expect them.
    Love comes
    like water trickling through a dam.
    We see ourselves in someone else
    and if we’ve been burned enough,
    we bristle
    or else melt like snow
    and run in salty rivulets.
    “What is she to you? You barely know her!”
    Words
    like cold iron in my heart.
    Clinical people say clinical things
    which we echo faithfully.
    We wear thei labels, like dogtags
    clutching our hope, holding ourselves,
    through the endless stretch of days
    trudging through our time here.
    Together, we
    focus on ourselves
    and so do I
    and that is right
    but
    in the cocoon of my dreams.
    Fellow patients live.
    And they are strong.
    And happy.
    And I love them.
    This is compassion
    Which cannot be contained.
    This is music
    that laughs merrily in the darkness.
    This is joy.
    The crash is like a wave.
    Over everything.
    Bringing the willingness
    to sacrifice myself.
    To serve another.
    And it is not my limitation.
    But the way that I was born.
    Love always comes in waves
    connected to the eternal ocean
    infinitely deep and wide
    with spray that catches the sun and glints
    like happy eyes
    and the foam
    that can scour us clean.
    These things I offer
    and you are free to walk away
    at any time for any reason
    but I warn you –
    that never stopped the sea before.

    This was written while I was in the psychiatric hospital. The were a lot of people there who had emotional pain in their lives, and I remember feeling so much that I wanted to help them. I wanted to take each person and give them a big hug and tell them how special they were and how happy I was that they were alive, despite their suicidal feelings and even suicide attempts. The counselors kept telling me that I needed to focus on my own problems and not try to help other people, but I couldn't help it – and I somehow thought that that was wrong, that we should help each other. I wanted to be friends, but after the hospitalization, none of us kept in touch. I wrote to people, but they didn't write back – and I didn't press it. I felt that maybe people wanted to forget about being in the psych ward, because of the stigma because of how painful emotionally it was to be there. I think that's understandable – but I still wish I could've stayed in touch with some of these people.
     
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  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Good writing Talia and I can relate to how you feel. Compassion is one of the grea tests gifts we can give another human being. I know they have their reasons for telling you to work on yourself, but in my opinion that's part of yourself and it's been said the best way to help yourself is to help others. I've been accused of being too giving, but I can't be anything else, it's who I am, there are no alterior motives than that I see another human or animal in pain. There's more than enough selfishness in our world and the state of it saddens me. Take care and thanks for sharing
    Namaste'
    Brian
     
  3. Talia862

    Talia862 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for commenting! I know its not the greatest poem technically but it was heartfelt. Seems you can relate.
     
    Brian777 likes this.