Poem or not

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by letmedisappear, Sep 24, 2012.

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  1. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    Poem or not, it didn't belong in the Let It All Out section because it sounds too... well, rhythmic. To me, at least.

    I want to fall asleep and cry,
    stop everything and explode,
    go and kill myself.
    Not try,
    but be successful.

    I can't stand living in my own skin,
    with my mind and my habits,
    my happiness and sadness,
    all contradicting each other,
    pulling me one way and the next.

    I want to sleep forever
    I want to die forever
    I want to feel the pain that I deserve
    and the disappointment they hide.

    Let me fail
    Give me reason
    I want to choose my own path
    Whether it be through the forest
    or down the rocky cliff
    head first, of course.
    I don't want to remember my fall.

    I understand, my life is good
    It's great
    I daresay perfect.
    But that is my life.
    And I am me.
    I am not my life.

    I am the girl who cuts
    I am the girl who is a coward
    and a weakling and a fool
    and a perfectionist and procrastinator.
    I fuck myself over
    and don't learn from my mistakes.

    I don't complete
    I don't work
    I don't do things that I must
    and know that I must
    and plan to do.

    But no, this time,
    this time I will.
    I will plan and prepare
    even if the days grow short.
    I will be ready
    And I will finish.
    I will succeed.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Yes , a poem , and well written, thank you for sharing.

    I would ask you consider something? You are you, not your life as you well pointed out - but instead of trying to make you fit into a life that seems to be a poor reflaction of yourself and trying to change who you are to fit that, maybe you could try to change your life to be you. You do not always have to pretend to be strong if you are not feeling that way, or pretend to be happy if you are not- make your life reflect you instead of the other way around and maybe thta will help.

    Take Care and Be Safe

  3. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    Thanks so much for your feedback.

    I think my life as I create it does reflect me, but a side of me that was positive and productive and enjoyed life... but I'm not always like that, especially not now. I suppose I'm just torn between two different mindsets: one I'd like to be in always that has hopes, and one that is around when reality sinks in.
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