Pointless painful life

[Jezah81]

Hi everyone

For many years I've been battling degenerative joints diseases in almost every joint from head to toe. I have more damaged degenerated joints than healthy ones. From a young boy until my mid 30s my life and passion was martial arts, and was planning on becoming a martial arts teacher. But my dream has gone and martial arts is becoming a thing of the past, the mental torture I am undergoing is very very terrible, worse than the actual physical pain itself. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm spending money on treatments and supplements to no avail, only making rich companies richer. I have no other passions or true interests and losing my ability to do or teach martial arts, is like a death sentence. I see a psychologist once a month but hasn't helped. I need help or advice before I end up doing what I have planned for a long time. I'm running out of time and patience and hope......

 

[Jezah81]

For many years I've been battling degenerative joints diseases in almost every joint from head to toe. I have more damaged degenerated joints than healthy ones. From a young boy until my mid 30s my life and passion was martial arts, and was planning on becoming a martial arts teacher. But my dream has gone and martial arts is becoming a thing of the past, the mental torture I am undergoing is very very terrible, worse than the actual physical pain itself. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm spending money on treatments and supplements to no avail, only making rich companies richer. I have no other passions or true interests and losing my ability to do or teach martial arts, is like a death sentence. I see a psychologist once a month but hasn't helped. I need help or advice before I end up doing what I have planned for a long time. I'm running out of time and patience and hope......

 

[1964dodge]

i'm sorry that you are suffering so much right now. i know what chronic pain can do it destroys our life in a way. the only thing you can do is find a new passion that you can get involved in. the possibilities are limitless. just one idea you could start a youth center for developing adolesents. you and i'm sure a friend could help you teach them marshal arts. it would take a lot of effort but would be rewarding. try to think of what you can do and go from there. you need a passion to help you want to live. for me it's my 64 dodge , there is another possibility restoring an antique car it takes a lot of time and some money so you do a little at a time. you have to find YOUR passion. i hope you can find something soon. and as always feel free to inbox me...mike...

 

[Jezah81]

i'm sorry that you are suffering so much right now. i know what chronic pain can do it destroys our life in a way. the only thing you can do is find a new passion that you can get involved in. the possibilities are limitless. just one idea you could start a youth center for developing adolesents. you and i'm sure a friend could help you teach them marshal arts. it would take a lot of effort but would be rewarding. try to think of what you can do and go from there. you need a passion to help you want to live. for me it's my 64 dodge , there is another possibility restoring an antique car it takes a lot of time and some money so you do a little at a time. you have to find YOUR passion. i hope you can find something soon. and as always feel free to inbox me...mike...

Thank you Mike. I just don't know how to be passionate about anything else. I never had kids, I never want to, I don't have close family and a job that I hate 2 nights a week. I can't work more because of my conditions. I don't know how to develop another passion as martial arts is the only thing I can think of, i can't even try to do exercise to keep myself fit and healthy. Walking and jogging has become more and more difficult. There's not much distractions. My life only consists of dr visits and useless therapy. I'm at a point where I can't see anyone being able to help me. I'm beyond help now, all I can hope is to die soon or hope to work up the courage to end it

 

[Lekatt]

I don't know a lot about martial arts, but I think there is a certain amount of mental work to it. Preparing yourself mentally, meditation, and such. Could you teach the mental studies of martial arts. I think that would help you also. Love.

 

[1964dodge]

i hope you don't try to end it @Jezah81 , and it takes more courage to live than die. i know how much chronic pain takes away from a person. i used to love working on my car as much as driving it. but now i can do very little work on it. yes it hurts and i can feel your pain but if you try you can find some passion. be creative see if there is a way to incorperate martial arts into your life. even if you can't do the moves you can teach. and every once in a while bring a friend for demonstrations. you could teach adults or kids and you would have respect, a sense of accomplishment , and martial arts. that's just 1 suggestion i bet if you looked hard you would find something that works for you. don't let you pain win...mike...

 

[may71]

You might want to be careful about what supplements you are taking. I think it's possible for them to make things worse rather than better.

Imho, it's probably best to get anything that you're taking prescribed by a professional.

 

[may71]

I don't know how to develop another passion as martial arts is the only thing I can think of, i can't even try to do exercise to keep myself fit and healthy

You might be able to transition to what might be called "internal martial arts". Tai chi, or a medical qi-gong practice might be something that you'd like.

 

[Jezah81]

Thank you for your responses. I hope one day I'll find th peace im looking for.

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

Have you tried swimming as a hobby and a way to exercise? It's very low impact and can be a lot of fun.

 

[Jezah81]

Have you tried swimming as a hobby and a way to exercise? It's very low impact and can be a lot of fun.

Hey, swimming isn't much of an option unfortunately either , with my suspected torn labrum in my shoulder, the rotating motion of using my arms to swim would aggravate the joint. I have an mri on 29 October to see how much worse its gotten since last year. And ill be getting a second opinion from a different surgeon to see what they think the problem is. Also have a back specialist appointments on 13 October for my lower back issues. Suspected herniated discs from the scans but I haven't seen a specialist for it yet.
I can only do some light walking for now. Jogging is out because of my hamstring tendonosis. I hope I start seeing results , im losing all hope and patience which is scary