pointless rambling

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Vitreledonellidae, Jul 19, 2008.

  1. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    The smallest thing that goes wrong makes me burst out in tears. And there isnt a thing I do right, so Im kinda constantly crying. So pathetic, but I have no one to talk to, I cant let it out. Thats why Im just rambling here now, I rather dont, but I dont wanna burst out in tears when im working and thats getting harder and harder. I just need to let it out now. But I dont know what to tell, Im too embarressed to write down whats up, because it all isnt a big deal. Im just the biggest whiner ever. I feel like an attentionwhore writing this down, Im not sure if I will post this thread either because of that. But Im hopeless atm and scared, so damn scared. Im not scared of death, but what my death will cause. My parents dont deserve all that kind of trouble, what did they do wrong in their life or past lifes to have me now. The ugliest, most pathetic, retarded, fattest, fucked up kid. I wish they would hate me, so it wouldnt be a bid deal when i commited suicide. But thats not going to happen. I need to find a way to live with myself, but I really see that not going happen either. Yeah lol, Ive thought about being a selfish addict, but thats not really pleasant for my parents either. But one thing keeps popping in my mind, get your eating disorder back!! If I do it good, my parents will never find out. I will get back what I never wanted to lose, but lost because of my fucking ex, which I regret so damn much. I should have listened to my ED and never get together. Anyway ofcourse I know its a stupid idea, but i see it as my only hope. If you have a better idea, i would like to know...
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I don't think you would be whining or seeking attention if you wrote what was bothering you. No matter how big or small, it is affecting you and that makes it an important issue to deal with. You are right that going back to you ED is not a good idea. If you are not comfortable sharing here, feel free to PM me. i will not judge you for your problem. Take care hun. :hug:
  3. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    Its funny that you are always one of the few atm the only one who reacts on my threads, while i dont even know you that while, thank you so much for that. Im sorry i havent been there for you, like you always adviced me. Thanks for your help, sorry dont know what to say more..