Yes, this is probably a pointless post, but I really need to talk about self harm. My self harming has increased from once or twice a week to about twice a day. I'm not sure why, I guess maybe it's because I feel anxious about Christmas. Anyway, I seem to put on a 'fake smile' so that people think that I'm happy, but inside I feel depressed and I want to die. I always have the thought, ''It'll be ok, I'll cut/burn tonight''. And that's a comfort to me. I'm almost crying at the moment because I'm terrified that somebody will try to stop me self harming. I can't have it, it's my life. Ahh, I will go crazy if I stop, why can't believe leave me to make my own choices? It hurts. Sometimes I think ''I wish that I never started this''. Other times I'll think ''I should have started self harming earlier''. I feel like a liar for doing this. I tell people that I'm fine, when really all I want to do is be alone so that I can cut. I've got some infected burns too. I'm obsessed with this.