Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Ruby, Dec 21, 2006.

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  1. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    Yes, this is probably a pointless post, but I really need to talk about self harm.

    My self harming has increased from once or twice a week to about twice a day. I'm not sure why, I guess maybe it's because I feel anxious about Christmas. Anyway, I seem to put on a 'fake smile' so that people think that I'm happy, but inside I feel depressed and I want to die. I always have the thought, ''It'll be ok, I'll cut/burn tonight''. And that's a comfort to me. I'm almost crying at the moment because I'm terrified that somebody will try to stop me self harming. I can't have it, it's my life. Ahh, I will go crazy if I stop, why can't believe leave me to make my own choices? It hurts.

    Sometimes I think ''I wish that I never started this''. Other times I'll think ''I should have started self harming earlier''.

    I feel like a liar for doing this. I tell people that I'm fine, when really all I want to do is be alone so that I can cut.

    I've got some infected burns too.

    I'm obsessed with this.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 21, 2006
  2. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i can´t believe that i feel like you, i say to people i´m happy, and nobody knows anything, just a couple of people. the first one was my best friend who didn´t talk me againg sice i told her crying that i wanted to die and i showed her my arms, the other was my boyfrind who drives complietly crazy everytime he sees my scars, so i must hide them and tell everybody i´m happy. my self har has increased too, ´couse at the beggining i do it once a month , then with 2 weeks of difference and now i can´t stop doing it every night, so i wanted to tell you that i feel like you. i may not be at the same situation but we can talk if you ever need it, just pm me
  3. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    I would tell you to go get the infection looked at by a doctor. But that would give away that you self harm. Just keep it cleaned out good. I harm to let stress out, but not all that often. A lot of people feel this way and use similar methods to unwind from life.
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