Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mandyj101, Aug 12, 2009.

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  1. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    i duno why i try 2 fight it.i am nothing.and i always will be.im jus a big failure that cant do anything right.
    no1 gives a dam about me and i dont blame them.i dont hold any grudges 4 ppl loathing me.i hate me 2.
    im so weak.i cant handle anything like normal ppl can.cant go outside.or talk 2 ppl properly anymore.i just drink and cry.hide in my room all day and do nothing.
    my arms are a mess.i jus cant stop cutiing.i thought i wanted 2 but i dont.
    i thought i wanted 2 get well but thats just a lie.i cant.i will b like this 4 as long as im breathing.i cant come 2 terms with that.i feel like im in a prison.i jus cant get out of this.and its 2 much 4 me.
    i dont want 2 turn 22 and add another year 2 my failings.i want 2 disappear :(
  2. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Hugs to Mandy.

    Day by day, kiddo, day by day.

    What is going on lately to give you these feelings?
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    *hugs* Don't give up. You help so many people here, and we do care about you!! Please hold on.
  4. sweetpea0

    sweetpea0 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. We care about you. We are here to help you. :console:
  5. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    i feel like im falling again.im back at that point when i 1st come here.
    im not living just existing.i cant function like every1 else.i wish i could.i have tried but i cant.i know im weak.iv known that 4 a long time.my birthday is coming up.its made me realise. :(
    we will all pass..some sooner than others.i wont say goodbye when i go.it makes my heart sink when i read ppl saying bye on here.
  6. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    hi mandy

    you are just a kid!only gonna be 22.You have soo much life ahead of you,time to enough to work through all these challenges in your life.You can get through this day, and we will be here for you.:arms:
  7. __Rawr.Tigga

    __Rawr.Tigga Well-Known Member

    Hang on Mandy :hug:

    We do care here hun, you aren't a failure. Like Bill said, one day at a time :) Hang on there hun, talk to us :hug:
  8. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    :hug: mandy. I'm here to talk. PM me if you want. You know I'm always here for you.
  9. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    i hope you feel better soon :( :hug:
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Aww hun, 22 is still so very young. So much to do and see. But with this shitty depression also comes feeling much more older than your years. And not wanting to see any more years like the last have been. I dont think any one of us here really knows why we keep trying to fight all the pain and urges. Suicide seems like such a quick and wonderful answer to ending all the pain. But you do and are still fighting hun. You're here reaching out desperately searching for anything or anyone to help you through it. And you have, you have many people here that care dearly about you. Many people that have listened to your words and advice. Many that you have helped back away from the very same edge you find yourself standing at right now. So please hun, let us help you the same way you have help so many others. You're tired hun. So lean on someone right now til you have your energy back and a better chance to focus. Dont let the darkness blind ya. If you look you'll see other members are holding out lights to help you see the path you need to follow. Let us help hun. You are more to so many here than you'll ever imagine. And that is not a failure, that is something so right. It's the depression that is clouding everything. Sometimes it can hold you there for years. And sometimes you escape very quickly. But either way, it is something you shouldnt try to fight all alone. We are here for you sweetie!!
  11. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    im struggling so so much :(
  12. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    whats up? :hug:
  13. killaunloved

    killaunloved Member

    where to find friends.......yo we should all meet up and smoke blunts and be friends lol..i think that would solve all our problems...we could all hookup with each other and what not lol

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    i learned last year that when we are in pain such as this, we need to talk to as many ppl as we can. im not sure what kinda issues you have, but sometimes , it helps just talking to ppl like yourself who have been there.

    is it possible that your drinking may be effecting your relationship with your friends ?
    what proof do you ahve that they dont care ?
    find someone, or just explain your story here and you will find many ppl that can offer you wisdom, experiance and maybe some tools to help you out.
  15. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    Mandy I love u :hug: stay strong.... :hug:
  16. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    A big :hug: for you mandy :hug:

    We're here for ya :)..dont give up!
  17. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Instead of struggling with so much at once, maybe try to find the one that seems most pressing and tell us about it. If we work at it one issue at a time different solutions may come up from different members that are or have dealt with the same thing. All these issues didnt get there by themsleves so please dont try to deal with them by yourself, it's not fair to you. We are here to help anyway we can!
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