Pointless

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Laurenp8, Mar 26, 2012.

  1. Laurenp8

    Laurenp8 New Member

    Life is too hard. I don't enjoy life, I just try to make it through the day. I put a smile on so that people don't ask me what's wrong, which doesn't work most of the time. I just don't give a shit about anything right now. I try to care, but I can't. It's too hard for me, I'm afraid to show emotion to other people and to care because I was taught in my childhood that if I cared about something, then it would be taken away from me. I try caring, but when I do, I care too much too fast and I end up getting hurt anyway. So, what's the point? I have to go to school and try to make it through the day, which I barely can. I just want to hide so that people don't see me, but I can't do that at school. I can't focus anymore in class and I get depressed to where I just want to sleep in class and not concentrate, but I can't let myself give up completely. I fight crying everyday but I cry almost everyday after school. All that is keeping me going right now is other people. I don't want my dad to be disappointed in me or worry about me. I don't want anyone to worry about me. I worry a lot of what people think about me. I feel so fake when I'm around people, because I do put on a face and pretend to be a happy person, when I'm really not. I don't want people to think of me as a freak because I can't be happy. I just don't know how. It's such a short string I feel like I'm hanging onto right now and I feel so tired. It's so hard and I'm afraid. I don't know what to do...
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I just want to say that I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. That's good that you have your dad and other people who care about you. Have you talked to him or anyone else about how you feel? Maybe if you talked to someone about it, you might feel a bit better. I know it can be hard to let everything out, but sometimes it makes things easier to deal with.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You sound like me hun you are so sensitive sometime life is so overwhelming and one cannot handle it all. I do hope you can talk to your teachers a councillor at your school and be real with them okay. Talk to them let them know how you are truly doing so you can get help you need hun hugs to you