My father passed away recently. My brother excluded me from the wake and is telling people that I am dangerous. He is doing this because he is afraid of the truth which is that he used me as a sex toy when we were young, he fifteen and me ten. The family has never believed me and with my father's death it seems that he has decided to complete the process of discrediting me. I never talk about what happened any more, it was a long time ago. More or less as a consequence of my brother's abuse of me I fell into serious depression as a youngster and now at thirty four still struggle to remain positive. I am not doing very well right now. I attempted suicide several times in the past. THE WAY THESE PEOPLE ARE TREATING ME, JUST TO MAINTAIN THEIR SPURIOUS DIGNITY! I've tried so hard to prove them all wrong but it seems to me that suicide will be a relief. I just don't do it because I don't want my mother to live with that. I'm scared I'll kill myself and then that stupid fake heterosexual will have won. I need a friend who knows what it's like to fight for that happiness we all want and sometimes lose.