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  1. toopainfultolive

    toopainfultolive Well-Known Member

    My brother's words are like poison to me. Just how many times have I repeat that!? Just how many times I have been hurt by his words? I can stuck up and tell him to shut up. But I know too. His words are true and that's why they hurt more. I will go tonight. It's lonely and I'm scared but I feel unready. Like I need more, something, to push me off the edges. To do what I need to do. I'm going to write my letter later. Maybe I will write this down so he knows when I'm gone. I'm a horrible person. In my mind, he is too. He may be smarter, capable than me but he's the same deep down. We dont talk of encouragments, we see only flaws in others and we get angry abt the situation. He says he's out to help change our situation. he hurt me. I know I'm useless and I can never be like him. maybe i'm better off gone. maybe this is the change he's talking abt. maybe i'd better go tonight. no one will miss me. its just less one person in the world. i can cry, scream until it hurts and no one will care. there's lots of ways to go. i need to prepare and i have the whole long night b4 me. i can go. im so lonely my heart aches. longing for something. really, if only im a better person, i bet this wont happen. i bet i will be happy. i hate this poison attacking my heart. i swear oneday i'll go and he wont ever talk to me like that again. ha, he will prob be upset cuz one less person for him to talk down too. this is a fucking night...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you don't have to listen to his words hun you don't have to believe them
    If you can write down how he is making you feel how you want out so bad because his words hurt you and give him the note okay or leave it where he will find it. Let him know how far he is pushing you
  3. roscho

    roscho Well-Known Member

    I agree completely with TE - write him a deep letter. Sometimes people are oblivious to the effects they have on others.

    My ex-wife was like that. Luckily our daughter can tell her to shove off, but I never could. It is strange how that works, I'm a grown man and can't, and our daughter, from about 14 on could tell her, effectively, to take a hike.
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