Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by rounder63, Oct 10, 2010.

  1. rounder63

    rounder63 New Member

    First post on this forum.

    I've been playing poker since i was 17. I loved it. In highschool i was top of my class, my lowest mark being a 98 in math. I got accepted into pre-med at university, where i continued to play poker. At first i was a breakeven/losing player at low stakes, but gradually progressed. In my first summer off, i made $30 000, and i spent pretty much all of it.

    I began to eat out at restaurants everyday, buy expensive clothes, and going to strip clubs and eventually escorts. I would park my car in places i wasnt supposed to park just because i could afford parking tickets. A few years passed, and i made a little more money, and spent a little more money too. I went to las vegas twice, first time i lost about $6000 in 2 days, the second time i went for a week and lost around 10-$15000 playing bellagio cup events.

    Fast forward a little bit, i am now 22 years old... i'm still up a little bit at poker, but not much at all... especially for how much time i put into the game. I just had my biggest losing month ever. Over the last 4 years, i've struggled with some major depression that has led to some weird behaviour.

    I would often harass people over the internet, troll people i knew IRL, or just be an asshole to everyone around me. I lost friends, got into arguements with family... I used to be really good/decent looking in highschool but now i've gained a good 40 lbs.

    I used to volunteer at the emergency room @ the hospital, donate money to the humane society, and help with children shelters. Over the years i helped a lot of my friends. I've lended them money, my time, i would drive for hours at a time to send them places because i felt bad for them not having a car or whatever... I've been scammed by so many people...but i take it all in.

    Nowadays i really dont know what im good for. I used to be in pre-med. I got kicked out and graduated with a regular BSc. I had one of the biggest losing months ever. I'm overweight... i dont have many friends.

    Right now the only thing that is holding me together is the fact that my dog relies on me and that i enjoy his company. There really is nothing left for me i feel.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Have you gotten help for you gambling addiction for your depression I thing that would be a start to getting you back on track. Meds to regulate your moods all good steps to help you go back and get that degree you wanted and deserve so much. Once you have gotten the addiction under control and your mental status as well you can try again okay You are still able to do this with help okay reach out and get some now as you say you are smart and kind and caring all wonderful qualitites that are still there in the core of you.:hugtackles:
  3. rounder63

    rounder63 New Member

    i already have my degree.. i dont have a gambling addiction its just that im quitting poker after 5 years of playing and i dont have many prospects out there for me right now