Police transcript

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by neverdie, Oct 7, 2007.

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  1. neverdie

    neverdie Guest

    So you thought police officers didn't have a sense of humor.... The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country:

    #15 "Relax ... the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

    #14 "Take your hands off the car ... or I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

    #11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

    #10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen . fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#*!."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC."

    #4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

    #2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

    AND yes, the best one (although, I really like #8) . . .

    #1 "You thought we didn't give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't . . . Sign here."

  2. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    #15 is from a movie. :laugh: But, those are pretty funny.
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

  5. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    hahahahah very good :clap:
  6. snafu

    snafu Member

    Hahaha....cat or dog...
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

  8. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    :eek:hmy: I had to think about it and I haven't had a drink :laugh:
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