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Poll-Doctors, what are they good for?

Should I talk to a Doctor about how I feel?

  • Yes

    Votes: 15 93.8%
  • No

    Votes: 1 6.3%

  • Total voters
    16
  • Poll closed .

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#21
Last few hours of the poll and we have our first NO vote. No posting to say why though. I really thought there'd be more tales of trauma to come out. Or how, once they'd told the drs it inevitably meant that family found out and how badly that can go.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#22
I get it. It's scary to be vulnerable, but really there isn't anything to lose. If you don't want your family to find out, I would think it's more important to work to get better, so you don't end up having an attempt some day, that is the worst way to find out. Your doctor will have likely treated many with your symptoms. It's a shame we all treat our mental health so differently than the rest. If you had chronic *physical* pain for many years, we would also encourage you to talk to a doctor.
 
#23
once they'd told the drs it inevitably meant that family found out and how badly that can go.
I think particularly if you are over 18, most places require that doctors maintain confidentiality. You could ask your doctor about confidentiality or do some research online about medical confidentiality.

If you're prescribed meds, maybe you could put them in something other than their original pill bottles.
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#24
I'm more concerned about how do I hide suddenly having a load of appointments when I normally only see the doctor once in a blue moon. How do I explain it without a) outright lying and b) telling the truth.
 
#25
How do I explain it without a) outright lying and b) telling the truth.
While generally speaking, honesty is the best policy, it's more important for you to get treatment than to tell the truth. Maybe we can help you work out a cover story if you need one.

You might not need that many appointments though. You could ask your doctor how many appointments you'll need.

If it comes down to it, telling the truth might not be as bad as you think it might be.

Do you want to say what consequences you fear if your family finds out?
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#26
1-I don't want to worry my kid
2-Husband wouldn't understand. He's said before that he thinks depression etc is just in people's head - it's not real. His usual reaction to something he doesn't understand is to be angry and dismissive about it. I don't want to have to deal with that.

And then there's issues with my job. Would I have to tell them if I got a diagnosis? Would they be able to sack me simply because I didn't tell them I might have mental health issues before they hired me? I don't know how this works. Too many unknowns. Too many variables outside of my control.

Sorry.
 
#27
Would I have to tell them if I got a diagnosis?
No
Would they be able to sack me simply because I didn't tell them I might have mental health issues before they hired me?
I think that would be discriminating against you for having a disability. Were you specifically asked about health issues before you were hired?

Laws vary from country to country. I think in some places, you might be prevented from driving a truck or handling firearms if you are depressed. Other than that, I think there ae generally legal protections for people who have disabilities.
 
#28
1-I don't want to worry my kid
2-Husband wouldn't understand. He's said before that he thinks depression etc is just in people's head - it's not real. His usual reaction to something he doesn't understand is to be angry and dismissive about it. I don't want to have to deal with that.
You could just say nothing about why you are going to the doctor. If you are asked, you could mention some particular symptom related to depression, but not say that you are depressed.

I hope something can help.
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#29
No

I think that would be discriminating against you for having a disability. Were you specifically asked about health issues before you were hired?

Laws vary from country to country. I think in some places, you might be prevented from driving a truck or handling firearms if you are depressed. Other than that, I think there ae generally legal protections for people who have disabilities.
They specifically asked me if there were any health issues that would impact me being able to do my job. I said no. I have health issues but none of them should impact the job. They haven't so far. I have since made them aware of them, because they put me at a higher risk of Covid and I thought they should be aware of that just in case.
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#30
You could just say nothing about why you are going to the doctor. If you are asked, you could mention some particular symptom related to depression, but not say that you are depressed.

I hope something can help.
I've sort of set myself up with a possible excuse. Sort of. Maybe. I don't know. I'm sorry.
 

Sunspots

Pffffeckn amazin
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#33
No, I'm sorry. I think this threads done. I shouldn't have posted it in the first place. I'm sorry about that.

Take care.
Your thread is really valid and is something so many people struggle with so it's a good thing to talk about for everyone here.

So, I take it that you bit the bullet and went to the Doctors. And how did that go for you?
I left it too late. I only spoke to the Doctors when I woke up in the ICU after an attempt. The doctors I've dealt with in the three years since have been empathetic, helpful and caring. I think the worse thing for my family was the shock - as far as they were concerned I was fine and happy, the next thing the police were at the door in the middle of the night telling them I'd been found unconscious 200 miles away and they didn't know if I'd survive.

If you really don't want your family finding out it would be easy to get round that. Make appointments for when you have time alone - husband at work, child at school etc. The likelihood is, if it's just a doctor you're seeing, you'll only need to see them every couple of months. If you decide to try therapy it will be more frequent but there are lots of ways this can be explained away - the main thing is that you get the help you need, not that you tell a white lie with the best of intentions.

You've obviously been managing in your job perfectly well so you didn't lie about any health issues that affect your ability to carry out your job. That may change in the future but they'd have no reason to think you'd lied at the time. You also wouldn't be under any obligation to tell them about it now if it is not affecting your work.
 

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