Poll: Is suicide in your family / Did your family and friends "get over it?"

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jameslyons, Mar 23, 2009.


Have you a family history of suicide or personal experience with somebody's suicide

  1. Yes, my family has a history of suicide

    10 vote(s)
  2. Yes a close family memeber killed themseleves

    6 vote(s)
  3. Yes a friend or family friend killed themselves

    6 vote(s)
  4. No.

    23 vote(s)
Multiple votes are allowed.
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  1. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Do you have a history of suicide in your family? Was the suicide a friend or family member in your generation or the one above yours?

    Secondly, if you personally are acquainted with suicide, do you believe family and friends "get over it"?

    Multiple choice!
  2. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I'll go first.

    My family has a history of suicide and various members have offed themselves. I don't think anybody has "gotten over " their deaths. Though the majority of people aren't in a constant state of mourning. The discussion of the suicide victim is always different from the people who died naturally.

    If you've died naturally there are more jokes and warm sentiments toward the person. If it's a suicide people talk in subdued tones and comment on how sad and unfortunate it was. So it seems like suicide erases all the good moments people had with you. You're just talked about briefly before being swept under the rug.

    And there's no wake if you're a suicide, which is unfortunate, because those things are fun.
  3. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    Another reason why the Paganism of northern Europe is superior to Christianity, I suppose. The Vikings considered death in battle to be the best way to go, of course, but if that was not available suicide could also get you into Valhalla. And you could NOT get there if you died from natural causes like disease or old age. So I suppose a Viking family circa 750 CE or so would remember Sven offing himself fondly, but forget ol' Hermann who died peacefully in bed. Of course both would be inferior to Yngvar who got a spear through his chest on the shores of Cornwall or Wicklow, but you get the picture.

    Valhalla, I am coming... :tongue:

    I feel like I missed that shit by a generation or so, at a minimum. Every wake I've ever been to has been a subdued, dry affair, except for one time went I went to the wake of a grandmother of a friend who was of Portugese or perhaps Cape Verdean extraction. They actually hired women to cry, except it sounded more like screeching. Quite, errm, interesting.

    But my family of lace-curtain Irish would've all been appalled by anything like that. Seems to me their goal has always been to out-Yankee the WASPs.
  4. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I've yet to attend a wake that's dry. :)
  5. Regenesis

    Regenesis Well-Known Member

    My sister killed herself.My parents never got over this.
  6. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Not in my family, no.
  7. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    My Grandad killed himself on Christmas day when my Dad was 6yrs old. My Dad and his 3 brothers and 1 sister never spoke about him except to say "i hope i don't end up like my Dad".
  8. Tess

    Tess Member

    God no, not in my family, it would cause far too much embarassment and more importantly, especially where my mothers family are concerned, it just wouldn't look right or be in keeping with the family sense of cheer. They're a very gung-ho bunch my family and have a rather creepily contemptuous view of people (ie me) who may cause problems. Every one of them is a stickler for self preservation and triumph over the lesser man. Hence why I avoid them at all costs even when that means christmas on my own with a slice of toast.
  9. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    No, I am quite 100% sure I am the ONLY ONE in my whole entire family (including generations and generations past) that has been very depressed and thought about suicide. Or perhaps others in my family have been but they could NEVER talk about it, I believe depression is still quite taboo in our Indian culture unfortunately and my dad has acknowledged this as well. We are always supposed to be fucking happy and become doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc. marry a nice Indian wife and have a few kids that will repeat the process and we live happily ever after, yay!!!

    The only ones that "know" about my depression and thoughts of suicide are my dad and mom and probably younger brother. But I've only talked about it, never attempted or anything like that and I've recently stopped talking about it, my dad thinks and tells me I have gotten all better which I have most certainly not. I've just stopped talking about it since my dad then would want to schedule an appointment with a phyciatrist/psychologist but for some reason, I am very much against it. I guess even I am ashamed of being depressed and my pathetic condition which is causing my depression and just can't open up about it.

    They have also thought I do it just for gaining attention or "blackmail", or at least that's what my dad has told me. I don't blame them, since so far its all been bark and no bite. :sad:
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 24, 2009
  10. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    My daughter did it and I want to join her.
  11. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    My uncle
    Two cousins (who were brothers, killed themselves a year apart)
    two very very close friends
  12. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    two of my uncles. . .
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    No one actually died but my mom is suicidal and my dad looks after her very well. I have a neice who has attempted but failed and then there is me with three attempts.. My family say they don't understand but will be supportive..Well those were the last words spoken of it and they have all decided if they pretend it won't happen then it won't..I know eventually I will commit. Just not the time right now...
  14. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I sent you a pm about this for reasons explained therein, but I think I can answer this directly as well through the people I know. I don't believe they ever really "get over" it. Maybe they don't think about it all the time (although my best friends mother says she thinks about her husband and daughter's suicide all the time) but even the "cold-hearted" friend I have thinks of his dad and sister now and then (same family) even though he claims it doesn't affect him one way or the other.
  15. kulay

    kulay Guest

    So many suicide attempts in my family I lost count already. (some were mine) Four succeeded, as far as i know. Two by overdose, one by hanging, one by drowning. My mother chose overdosing herself.
  16. kulay

    kulay Guest

    And no... there's really no getting over it.
  17. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all your answers everybody :grouphug:

    I'm so sorry for your losses.

    Now would everyone who hasn't experienced a suicide please realize that your friends and family will not get over your death? Thank you.
  18. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    i voted yes and no, my mom and grandma both have made attempts at suicide but they didnt succseed, though my mom told me when she was mad at me my grandma died by killing herself, I dont think that was the case though who knows, she died a few days b4 my birthday and an event I was having so who knows maybe she didnt want to go to this event
  19. Samantha

    Samantha Well-Known Member


    Yes they get over it
  20. Samantha

    Samantha Well-Known Member


    Goes to show people are primarily about looking after number 1 nothing new in this I guess.
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