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*POSS TRIGGERING* *POSS GROSS* miscarriage stuff

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Ouroboros

SF Supporter
#1
This morning I woke up aching. It's been 6 days since the scan and they told me there was no heart beat. I've been bleeding a bit more each day since then. (been in psych ward since monday evening). When I stood up I could feel all the stuff (clots and things) coming out, like it did last time (over new year I miscarried then too) only last time I didn't see the next bit because I think it was brokenn down by the time I bled, they said on that scan they couldn't see everything. The next bit was a sac siting on the pad with all the other blood and clots that had come out. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to go the the bathroom because its shared and so I set up the bed with the fluff pads they'd given me in advance and I let as much come out as poss, cleaned myself up and put a fresh pad and clothes on leaving the stuff on the fluff pad on the bed. But I couldn't help looking. when I moved my pants with the pad I could see something floating around in the sac. So I opened it. And there was this little almost human looking creature. About the size of a small kidney bean, with a big head, tiny eyes, little arms and legs and sorta looked like a little mouth smiling. I knew I migh see something, but I don't think knowing what you might see and thenn seeing it in real life is quite the same (like when my brother prepared me to see our dad dying in hospital, and then actually seeing what I can only compare to as something i've seen in horror films, undead things).

I think it is an embryo at this stage, thats what I saw, an embryo that died inside me.I took a picture of it, and then carefully placed it on the bed next to me with everything else and then just sat there. One the nurses came by to see if I was coming to breakfast, I couldn't talk. He could see stuff on the bed and asked if I wanted a female nurse. I nodded. They came, and talked to me, and then one of the senior nurses came. She sat and hugged me and I cried, and they talked and I talked a little and they asked what I wanted to do and we got everything cleaned up and they let me have breakfast in my room, and gave me some lorazapam and paracetemol and then I slept till lunch. And then they brought lunch in to me too. I'm aching again now, I need more paracetemol, I'm scared to stand up because thats when the clots come out.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#3
a miscarriage is a terrible thing to go through. try not to look at what comes out it can be very triggering to you. i think the hospital is the best place for you right now. i hope you start to get better soon. remember you have friends on SF that care about you. if you ever want to talk feel free to use my inbox anytime....mike....*console*sadhug*shake
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#4
*console
I'm not even going to attempt to discuss this. I'm so sorry. I really can't think of anything I'm absolutely positive will make things even slightly better so I'm just going to say that we're here to listen.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#5
*hug10 I'm so sorry hun but it is good you are able to talk about it I think, I am glad the nurses were emotionally supportive when you needed them. I'm here if you need to talk.
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#7
Firstly I'm glad you're somewhere where people can look after you while you go through this. The last thing you want is to be on your own.

Secondly, don't be afraid to stand up and move around. You NEED to get those clots out of you otherwise they'll have to do what used to be called a D&C (not sure if it's still called that these days). That's where they literally scrape the inside of you out in order to get everything out - but they only do that if they think it hasn't all come out by itself. I haven't had one of those but my mother had several (she had several miscarriages too) and she hated them. Please, don't make them have to do that to you.

Lastly, I haven't been through what you have so the closest I can do is imagine based on what I've been told and also by how bad I felt when I was trying to get pregnant and found I wasn't. The heartbreak was soul crushing. Yours must be worse.

Wishing you the best because that's literally all I can do.
 
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