Possible chance of a better life...?

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by Hanging_Hope, Aug 13, 2009.

  1. Hanging_Hope

    Hanging_Hope Active Member

    Possible chance for a better life...?

    I hope so. At least.

    So, to sum things up, I'm supposed to be flying to Japan on the 28th of August. I'm half japanese, but have lived all my life in England, even though I speak the language fluently and have gone on trips there once a year or so for obvious reasons. My life here as it is couldn't be worse, and of course I've been suicidal for as long as I can remember...I'm currently attending a college where I'm studying advanced physics, but it's getting me nowhere so far. For over a year now I've been trying to become accepted by a university in Kyoto that'll probably help me a lot more with my future career. It's not easy, after all, that university is expensive, and harder, and I'll probably have to take certain exams to become accepted, but I really want to go there. So, when I do go to Japan this month, I'll take all my courage with me and determination so I can go find out everything I have to do in order to get accepted.

    I'll also, -I won't promise anything, but I'll try-, try to meet some of my relatives there -Who unfortunately have learned about my suicidal tendencies and are not comfortable with it- and some of the people I've met, even though I haven't really kept in touch with them. Hell, I can't seem to be able to keep in touch with anyone, but I'll try to change that a bit now. If I end up getting ignored again, I guess I really am hopeless. I'm not sure if these people even remember me, or even care, but well, I sure do. I'll probably get to see this guy I have had feelings for, since he's my cousin's friend. Not like he'd ever be interested in me, but I'll...well, I'll try anyway.

    And basically, if I manage to get accepted, I'll move there. Living away from my parents is the best thing I could ever wish for. And living far away from the life I hate is even better. I hope I can really get through with it.

    I shouldn't hope too much though. Luck hates me, so does life in general...
    Oh well, just felt like sharing this...
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 13, 2009
  2. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    aah possible new start.. good good..
    better than no start :)

    good luck!
  3. Hanging_Hope

    Hanging_Hope Active Member

    Yep, I guess...

    Thank you~~
  4. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    i dont know the saying in english but "i'll pray for you" something like that, that I will do :)
  5. cofmadness

    cofmadness Well-Known Member

    I say give it a try, if you don't like it you can always go back. I've been thinking about moving back to my parents' country myself, just gotta get myself to do it, I guess I'm used to it here but I want change too maybe find something worth living for there.
  6. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    You are on to a great start with going to the University to learn everything about it. I'm sure getting into that college will help you so much. Any other good colleges in Japan that could help you? And I'm sure your cousins friend would be glad to see you again.