*possible trigger*-book preview

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by The_Guard, Jan 31, 2010.

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  1. The_Guard

    The_Guard Well-Known Member

    warning: this might be triggering
    So, im currently writing a book, full of poetry, and inspirational messages, so, someone asked if id post a preview, so, here you guys go:

    Dark red, I feel like I should be dead.
    The pain will flow, but it is so slow.
    The feel of a blade,
    Blood turns a darker shade.
    I feel like I should run, but there is so much involved.
    I guess this means that I am finally done.

    Cut and bleeding slowly dripping pain.
    Escape thru inanimate objects maybe they can supply a subject for me to live.
    Stop this pain, there is nothing to gain.

    I am hurting you,
    Yet I knowingly continue.
    Fight the tears, it isn’t right to cry.
    Maybe deep down inside I should just die.

    Cut and bleeding slowly dripping pain.
    Escape thru inanimate objects maybe they can supply a subject for me to live.
    Stop this pain, there is nothing to gain.

    No more pain
    What did I gain?
    Ruining lives,
    Maybe I should stick to the knives.
    So transparent,
    But trying not to listen.
    Hiding
    Dying a little more inside every time.
    Don’t hide, you don’t have to hide.

    -Rescue is possible-


    I will keep you guys updated on the book progress.
     
  2. The_Guard

    The_Guard Well-Known Member

    PS: im on page 32, of what im expecting to be 100-200 pages, maybe more.
    (32 pages in 3 days...) then i will be trying to get it published, hopefully it will be available within the next year or so.
     
  3. AEdle

    AEdle Well-Known Member

    Oh my!!!!!!

    This was :stars: :eek:hmy: ...really.Good job...

    I just love how the poem goes with reality,it`s like you can see the feelings...the human who try to escape and he stills in his pain...oh my...really i was :eek:hmy: .


    Congrats and hope you`ll finish it soon! :stars:



    #Edit : This part is like a game"
    Dark red, I feel like I should be dead. " (game:playing cards)...and there`s a fold or something...really nice poem!
     
  4. DreamReaver

    DreamReaver Well-Known Member

    your good, 200 pages of poems, not sure i could create one let alone 200 pages worth.

    Do you have a title for the book?

    Put some music to the poem you could have a song :)
     
  5. Anni

    Anni Well-Known Member

    awesome
     
  6. The_Guard

    The_Guard Well-Known Member

    No name yet, unfortunatly, if you guys want to make suggestions for a book name about poems, go for it.

    i do appreciate the responses/criticism :)
     
  7. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    :O thats is amazing idk what to say i really dont wow, it really specks of what is trufully like its very very good. good luck with the book!!
     
  8. The_Guard

    The_Guard Well-Known Member

    Another one id like opinions on::



    Darkest:



    In the darkest moment you see who people really are,
    You see how far they fall to try to hide themselves,
    Under their true skin, for in the night, they show their true being
    And now the world is seeing, what is really coming, because the dark cant hide
    What is really inside, the monster within, that is trying to get out, trying to shout, clouded in darkness shrouded in fear, because if they hear the things you’ve done,
    It will be like a gun, firing the last shot, hoping you don’t rot from the things you’ve been, the monster within. The darkest moment comes out, and there is no doubt, it will destroy all of you, it will all be true, and you will fade, died away no more day, the darkness creeps in, and you die in this sin, the feeling of overwhelming, swelling from all around, only in the silence where there is no sound, when your all alone, yet you’ve been fully surrounded by everyone who can now see this monster you didn’t want to be, when the darkness creeps in…no more light, only sin.
     
  9. AEdle

    AEdle Well-Known Member

    It was"next and next" and when i saw "when the darkness creeps in…no more light, only sin".Fantastic...really...


    It`s just obviously damn good! :eek:hmy::stars:
     
  10. Dubstepper

    Dubstepper Staff Alumni

    fellow poet (published as well, if i may) commends ya.

    keep it up and 200 pages is going to be simple.

    if you need art, hit me up!
     
  11. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Excellent rhythm and rhyme. Love the imagery too.

    :IrishDoll:
     
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