Possible Trigger...Sexual Assault 9 months ago, mention of drugs...

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by J725c, Apr 15, 2012.

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  1. J725c

    J725c New Member

    This is my first time posting here. I have been looking for more help and support. I have been on another support forum, but they don't really deal with suicidal feelings. 9 months ago I was sexually assaulted. My therapist keeps on calling it rape, but I have been having trouble accepting it as so. I had allowed him in my car, and had gotten high with him. He then forced me to give him oral sex. He would not get out of my car until I did so. I begged him not to make me do that. He took my face in his hands and told me that he wanted me to do that. It was such a scary situation. I've been seeing a therapist, and she thinks I may have PTSD. I already struggle with depression, and have been 5 years sober and 9 months clean. I got clean the next day that happened. I just need help right now, I guess. My emotions have been bouncing back and forth, and have been having trouble actually feeling what happened to me. Any ideas on how to break the barrier? Thanks for listening.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 15, 2012
  2. GreyCat

    GreyCat Well-Known Member

    He sexually assaulted you. It's his fault. He did it, not you. You are not to blame in any shape or form. By saying you allowed him your car and got high with him it looks like you are saying maybe this was why it happened. That isn't true. A normal person would get in your car, get high and sit and have a laugh with you. It's him who is 100% to blame. You are a normal person, and you expected him to behave like a normal person, but instead he was completely disgusting and out of order and he sexually assaulted you. That is because there is something wrong with him, and not with you. It's important that you realise that, that you are not responsible for his behaviour at all, the situation was not within your control, so never ever blame yourself. Keep talking, reaching out, getting therapy and you will get past this, I'm so sorry such a thing happened to you. hugs.
     
  3. oh wow! I am so sorry to hear that happened to you but it is sexual assault! It really is.... and just because you got high with him doesn't give him the right to violate you at all! I have been raped multiple times and the first time it happened, I was 18(I'm 25 now...) and I was drunk and passed out and woke up with the guy on top of me raping me(I just met him that night.) Its still hard for me to accept that as rape or any of the other rapes that happened to me. The last time I was raped was in October and I actually have an anniversary of a rape coming up on Monday that I can't bear to deal with. Most people who have sexual assault or rape issues do develop PTSD. I have bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD and eating issues so I understand what you are going through. I definitely have the suicidal feelings and am afraid to sleep at all because I constantly have nightmares multiple times a night. I would keep talking to your therapist and see what you can work out! If you ever need to talk or want to chat, I'm here.
     
  4. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    jane its going to be a while before you accept it you may even think its your fault but listen to me its NOT!!!!!!! he is the one who forced you he isn the one that needs to be in jail..you did nothing wrong also im proud of you for being clean that long keep up the good work if you need to tlk to someone pm me im here for you
     
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